Before you read this, make sure you have read: Part one, Part two, Part three and Part four of my African immigrant story.
PART FIVE
Late 2006
The film school that I was my first choice University accepts me and I jump straight in to the course in the middle of the school year.
My focus is still all on the party and I fail every single subject including documetary film making where I try to make a film on African drinking habits while drunk.
Still have delusions of grandeur. Obsess over them almost every waking minute but doing nothing to move closer to them. They’re slowly fading away.
Discover that with male-female relationships once a certain level of emotional comfort and physical intimacy has been reached, you are no longer “just friends or acquantances.” It’s as though you own a piece of each other. I discover this when I try to get intimate with two women at the same time and remain “just friends”. Messy and immature. To both of them: I’m sorry.
When my family returns from visiting Kenya they find bottles of alcohol, condoms, pregnancy kits, holes in the walls and morning after pills. Gives you an idea of the type of Christmas I had.
Party lifestyle for me hits its peak probably around June, slow decline has already begun.
Early 2007
The life of hedonism becomes less and less exciting for me.
Rejoin film school and actually try to do well this semester. Make a short film, which you can check out on Youtube.
Learn the basics of film such as editing, using a camera and writing a script. Idea of building a Pan-African movie production company continues to grow.
Attend PUA workshops(Google it!). Fascinating. Become obsessed with their literature and their way of thinking and viewing the world.Eventually become jaded by their general lack of fulfillment in life and an underlying misogyny and fear of women that I detect.
Meet three women who I genuinely like because of their kind hearts and genuine spirits-and they are pretty hot too: One of them hardly remembers me and the other two hate me.
Second Half 2007
I am completely disillusioned and bored with my party lifestyle. In my quiet moments, my delusions of grandeur thrust themselves in my face.
After watching a T Robbins interview with Larry King I decide to take drastic action. I disconnect my phone number and in no time flat, with a little money take off for Sydney to make my production house come true.
Sign up to join a film school that is also a production company. They charge $10,000 for a year of study. Knowing that I can’t get parental support for it and with no way of paying the entire amount upfront, I do not enter the school.
Btw should you ever do what I did, it is only corteous to tell the people around you, you are leaving. I left a lot of good people without saying bye or anything. To all of them. I’m sorry.
I remember to always be mindful to thank God for all he has blessed me with.
Around the time I settle into Sydney I get robbed and most of my official documentation is stolen.
I end up homeless and jobless and searching for a job while listening endlessly to personal development tapes in my car.
Eventually, after 5 years, PUA workshops and a lot of experience, I realize that there are simply people in this world that I cannot get along with, hard as I might try and I have to tolerate and respect them.
Drinking begins to become pathetic: I never intended to drink on my own but I end up doing that. One day I go to a girl’s home and abuse the living hell out of her (insecurities, oh insecurities). Shortly after my drinking makes me miss a flight I was supposed to take back to Melbourne to visit the family. Lying alone and hungover in my car the next morning I vow that I will never touch another drop of alcohol and I must learn to live a life where I don’t use it as a crutch: Defining moment!
Attend a Tony Robbins seminar where I get fire shot into my soul and learn a lot of valuable mental skills.
Decide to experiment with eating no animal products. Health benefits abound, I lose 5 kilograms in two days! Lose some puss pimples, stop feeling bloated and feel a slightly higher level of energy Decide to keep going. Still going!
Come back to Melbourne to start up an Internet business because:
a) People making money from Adsense.
b) I control my working life and can work at night (as I am now)
c) I can use it as an excuse to interview people I admire and want to learn from and model.
d) I can use it as a launching pad for my movie production house (stay tuned).
e) I can use it to help people who are just like me: immigrants who showed up here without a roadmap of what to do.
Try to start blogs on Google. Run them for about 3 months.
Register the Displaced African domain name on WordPress.Sign up for a membership site to learn how to blog as a business and begin working and thinking about the blog night and day.
Become a ferrocious student of the Internet, blogging, Internet marketing and technology. Still a student to this day!
First Half 2008
This chapter is still in the making. All I intend on doing is building a life that will matter long after I have left this Earth. I am not content with simply saying, I came, I lived, I loved and I died. I want to die with pictures of me deeply embedded onto the walls and in the hearts of people throughout Mama Africa, not because I am a great guy-I am not too bad, if you want to know-but because I brought something special to my home that didn’t exist before I brought it. Because I served and lived in some unique way and now Africa is better as a result.
There is so much I have not put into this story that it’s not funny. However I hope this “brief” timeline of my time here in Australia will put a lot of the stuff I say into perpective. Now you know me and now you know my blog. Enjoy your stay and I hope it’s of benefit to you.
Be blessed and bless others,
Mwangi
If you haven’t, please read: Part one / Part two/ Part three/ Part four /
Tags: African, African immigration, Immigration, Mwangi, the Displaced African
That PUA stuff! “shudder” I actively sought to know about it because I, for some idgit reason, seem to be a PUA magnet, being somewhat naive and extremely gullible with regards to men (only newly single for the first time as an adult! in early 2007). I also found that most true PUA’s are mysoginistic individuals and really sad individuals even though they seem to be more at face value…can pick them out from a mile away now. David DeAngelo is also a dating guru for men but I think that he’s different…I actually discovered Anthony Robbins because of his “Double your dates” tape. He actually encourages men to be what they profess to be…I might not agree with ALL of his techniques but they work. Have you come across his work? What do you think of him? *whisper* (I downloaded he’s stuff…lol I figured he’s a guy and I’m trying to figure out how to stop being duped by guys…why pay for that?! lol)
Funny, when I read part four I thought “he should go back to film school…its quite obviously his passion, I think”….
Hmmm…no animal products is tough to do…really tough, especially being an African…what ARE you going to do when you go in Dec…can already see the confused looks on peeps faces when you start talking vegan. LMAO!
This is refreshingly honest. You must try and contact those folks you hurt and make peace with them. The girl you abused, please find her if you haven’t already… . You seem like one who learns from his mistakes so you can only grow. All the best, and I look forward to reading more on your journey and a successful film production career.
@gal africana:I would actually put David Deangelo in that category as well. In short, it is basically people who have eternal bachelors-many of them with serious insecurities and issues-preaching to the single and the desperate about how to have fulfilling relationships. But, give credit where it’s due, those guys are absolute geniuses….they know what they’re talking about. It’s just what is at their core that really turns me off.
Tony Robbins actually dislikes the PUA community and talked about how the writer of the Game was an empty cat when it was all said and done. T. Robbins I first heard of when I was 15, I don’t know from where but I know it was because I was looking for a quick fix for my sadness. As for the PUA community, I don’t remember either. I think I discovered Deangelo first through askmen.com and then started looking him up and it snowballed – the first time I read his writing I thought I was reading Klingon, until I saw that dang some of this brother’s crazy ideas work. I think now that I have put myself out there you should feel no shame in saying you downloaded the stuff. Ultimately though, as a general rule most men you will ever meet will want to get in your pants and I wish I knew how you could avoid being duped- hmmm I detect a blog series coming on……..
I got very impatient, sitting in film school. I looked around and thought, “I am going to be here 2 more years before I start living. I can’t wait that long! I want to get started now.” Plus, I didn’t like the fact that none of our lecturers was a successful film maker I decided I wanted to go out and learn from people who are actually succeeding in the industry such as Abderrahmane Sissako and Ousmane Sembene so I can follow directly in their footsteps and then some.
I don’t know what I am going to do when I go up country either…….stay tuned and we’ll find out. Wow, this response is long…………
@majonzi: thanks for the warm wishes and stay tuned to see how I will go about making things happen. I haven’t contacted the people I have hurt yet…I am still super scared though I vowed to myself that once I had this blog up and running and it was doing well I would do that so….stay tuned for that too. Have a great day.
I think I vouch more for DeAngelo because he actually encourages men to change their way of thinking and be more pro active generally rather than just for the sake of seducing women…I found Anthony Robbins stuff indirectly through DeAngelos amazon recommendations…he bases a lot of his stuff on some fundamentally healthy thinkers…the results are somewhat dubious but an intelligent guy would draw the best out of he’s teachings.
Funny enough, I’m not easily duped anymore, twice was enough, even though I don’t think the guys had a clue about what being PUA is, but they operated like them. Being a disappointed dreamer and a rather sheltered one, I needed to up my self esteem and self knowledge and actually STOP romaticising when I’m with a guy so I actually see him for who he is and not who I want him to be, it works! Getting into each others pants SHOULD NOT involve duping…lol
Recently attended a “the future of African film” forum hosted by one of the art film institutes here…they had invited Oumar Sisseko and he was just lovely. They were showing a series of African films and I only went to see one…”the grandmother”…very slow but brilliant. Regret not seeing some of the more modern ones…
There is something very inspiring about leaders who live and breathe pan africanism…without being fundamentalists…he was talking about the need to organize the marketing of African films to Africans, since we’re our own , very large and untapped, market. He was talking about how well the Nigerian and ghanaian film industry is doing (they make a movie in a week!!!!) and what to learn from that…I’m not crazy about Nigerian movies though…very entertaining…but some very nutty stories that scare the cow out of me. Sorry long answer as well hihi
I would have loved to have been at the African film forum….did they develop any initiatives or anything out of the forum? I agree that we should definitely begin marketing to ourselves; tell our stories to ourselves and encourage and uplift each other. I intend on doing that and am really looking forward to seeing what more intelligent Africans come up with in this area of film.
A movie in a week? Now that’s what I’m talking about! Imagine I have never watched a Nigerian film? I am starting to think I am really missing out….expect me to go get films from my Western brodas very soon.
snap! cooliris kulad my comment… aaarrghh… let me attempt to re-write!
has anyone of you watched HipHop Colony?
I agree we need to tell our stories from our perspective… there is soo much material. So I am looking forward to seeing your work, really looking forward to it. Friends of mine are organizing a Pan African film festival here in the cities, and they have been looking for East African, esp Kenyan indie films since most of what is out here is West African. I can put you guys in touch if you are interested? Any suggestions? Eh, maybe you can do a whole post on that, eh?
About Naija and Ghanian movies– they have really protected their markets, as a result there is little competition from Hollywood and such. Some of them are very well done, and others like gal africana alludes to are so jua kali!!!
@majonzi: I haven’t seen Hip Hop colony but I did see the Youtube videos hyping it up and it looked great. Have you seen it? Any good?
Tell me more about the film fest and any way I can promote it or get involved holla and if time allows of course I will be there.
Suggestions: If the guys wish to promote their movies on Amazon.com or by selling them online, I could interview them and help them promote their work.
You can do guest posts- maybe even with video-on my blog and yours and talk about the film fest and what it means.
I won’t get into the film side of things until this blog is fully up and running but I definitely am interested so please send me more info, if not here, via email: masmilele@thedisplacedafrican.com
I have to give our West African brodas max props for protecting their film industry in a world where the West rips third world economies open like cheap cans. Very sleepy and tired as I type this….have a good one.
@ majonzi Haven’t seen Hiphop colony either but will now look it up. I didn’t know that Nigeria and Ghana protected their film market by restricting movies from hollywood…makes sense. And see, I dont know of any Kenyan films…will look that up too.
@ mwangi you need to watch you some Nigerian films…like majonzi says…some of them rock and if anything else you can enjoy the colorful clothes…no? lol I think the purpose of the forum was to expose Danes to African films…don’t think any intiatives were developed.
HipHop colony is definitely a good one, of course with room for improvement. If you are in the states you can rent it from BlockBuster. They have a site too where you can enquire where you international folks can get it from— http://www.hiphopcolony.com
Mwangi I will give your contact to my buddy.
@galafricana– check out wiki on Nollywood http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinema_of_Nigeria
Thanks majonzi,
Looking forward to seeing what happens with the Pan-African film fest.
The main thing to check out in the Nigerian cinema stats is how many movies they make and how much money they are making…..they have done quite well for themselves 🙂
Sadly I am in Australia, and though we have Blockbuster, last time I checked they didn’t have Hip hop colony.
Mwangi,
I have been waiting to comment on your story about your life until you had finished posting all the articles. It is very difficult to write honestly about one’s life as there are things we have all done that we would rather other people did not know. The whole thing can be very “raw.” I do hope you find happiness in your future, best of luck with everything. 🙂
Very diplomatic response there Caustic. You’re right about the whole feeling “raw” thing. I really had to wrestle with myself to write this story because a lot of the stuff I wrote in the story I am quite embarrassed about. I am happy to report however that everything I would have been ashamed to put out there I did and I feel quite free and quite relieved knowing that I can be raw and vulnerable like that and still alright.
I guess best of luck to you too 😀
It is funny that you say my response was “diplomatic” as when I was younger I wanted to be a diplomat. I remember the look on my parents’ face when I was about 10 and telling them I wanted to be a diplomat, it was priceless. Other kids wanted to be nurses, doctors, police men, fire men, but not me, I wanted to be a diplomat. Anyway, I am rambling now, I think I will go do some more research on my next article.
Hi Mwangi,
Wow, your 5 part sequel made for an interesting read. You are talented and very energetic, if only you would settle on one area and pursue it further. Then again, time is on your side, (if you only did kcpe in 2000??!!) so you can try this and that until you find the ‘it’
Best wishes!
@mwari: I am glad you enjoyed my five part story. For the time being I am right here doing all I can to be useful within the blogosphere. I am so thankful to God that I became this self-aware this early. If I keep going the way I am going, I am really looking forward to seeing the type of person I will be a couple of years from now. Thanks for stopping by.
As a parent I have learnt a thing or two from your journey. I commend you for your honesty and good intentions. I pray that you get to achieve your dreams.
Stay blessed.
@Ssembonge: Thank you for the kind wishes and keeping me in your prayers. It has taken me a long time to realize this but whether we like it or not, this place changes us and as a parent I am glad you got an insight into some of the ways this place can change us, my story is far from the most extreme change.
The discussion of what this place does to people in various stages of their life is necessary so we can make the best of our Western experience.
Stay blessed as well.
i really think that its awesome that you have the opportunity to figure out what it is you want your life to be about. Alot of people never figure it out and most figure it out way late in life.
Beautifully written – perhaps a book could suffice from this? a memoir of sorts?
btw – i could have sworn i saw somewhere(can’t for the life of me remember or find it now)…something about sundance and east africa? anyone recall or am i getting things mixed up?
@seinlife: Hopefully this blog will end up being my memoir that I will get into the hands of millions of people. Sundance in Africa? WOW! I really hope the local talent use this chance to start telling our stories, and getting them out there, a bit more. The only thing I know of in EA is the Zanzibar film festival.
Thanks for the kind words about the writing style, you can’t imagine how many times and in how many styles I rewrote it. I am glad because it seems like it really connected with people.
So what say you to doing a guest post on the Displaced African?
Aah found it.
Guest blogging huh? sounds like fun but what to blog about? (dunno about african emigrants in the great Aussie)
@ seinlife: Thanks ! I have promptly forwarded it to my friend doing film? Just guest blog on your experiences being an immigrant abroad? It can even be a 50 word article where you basically give the single most important piece of advise you would give to someone before they enter a plane.
Btw what does seinlife mean?
[…] on: Part four /Part five Posted by Mwangi Filed in My Story as an African Immigrant | Tags: African, African […]
[…] Inform People of Major Life Decisions: If I were ever to redo what I did when I packed up my things and changed cities from Melbourne to Sydney, I would have done one thing differently: I would have informed all my friends and family of my […]
Yaani your journey is so different yet so similar to mine. Now i see what is so destabalizing about moving to a foreign country. The fact that when you look at someone straight into their eyes, there is no connection.
@consecrated: Btw, I forgot to mention it before, what an interesting name? Must be hell putting that on an ID though 😛 I actually talked about this more in depth on this post here and I would be curious to know if what I, and some of my friends and acquaintances went through, is what you went through (or are going through) and if you came out better, how did you do that:
http://www.thedisplacedafrican.com/1445/something-that-happens-to-a-lot-of-newbie-immigrants-thats-almost-never-discussed/
Why hello dear Mwangi, thank-you for sharing your experiences, you still in Sydney? I’d like to know more about this Pan-African production dream you speak of. Pop me an email when you can, I’ll be in touch anyway. Cheers.
@Sonia: Nope, have been back in Melbourne for a while now. The Pan African production dream evolved into the Displaced African because I wanted to get started and get talking sharing and experiencing IMMEDIATELY and didn’t want to go through the perceived barriers I saw in film.
Though this blog is evolving at the moment and I want to make it more of a practical resource with resources on material prosperity, immigration process etc etc one piece of the initial puzzle that I never got started on that I feel I must start on one day is radio theatre.
I would love to have a radio theatre show which I write broadcasting weekly out of this blog. Now there are many other things I want to do but time and God allowing that is one media avenue I would LOVE to explore.
Why hello dear Mwangi, thank-you for sharing your experiences, you still in Melbourne? I’d like to know more about this Pan-African production dream you speak of. Pop me an email when you can, I’ll be in touch anyway. Cheers.
@gater: I am now a Brisbane resident. I covered some of the thoughts sorrounding my Pan-afric movie production company in this article: http://www.thedisplacedafrican.com/2008/02/how-to-take-africa-from-zero-to-hero-entertainment/
Let me know your thoughts