The Displaced African

268 Responses to “Jungle Fever: The Relationship Between African Men and White Women”

1. Mwangi says:

   June 23, 2008 at 6:57 pm

   @Dawn: I am glad I was able to be of some use. I am not a myspacer and am barely a facebooker as is so unfortunately can’t add you to myspace but can definitely add you to my facebook.
   As for the whole, don’t bring me a white woman thing, it may not be politically correct to say but I kinda see where it comes from: people in our communities never want to lose the good members or the members with potential within it. And considering how weak and bruised and battered our African communities are we need all the good people we can get. What I absolutely abhor is the callousness with which so many of my African compatriots enter interracial relationships with zilch concern for the other party and only thinking about themselves.

2. hijack323 says:

   June 28, 2008 at 2:08 pm

   I read your original post and some of the responses. I am a white American woman. I was married for 9 years to a white man and after my divorce, dated both white and black men. I have been married for 11 1/2 years to a black man, both of or second marriages. His first wife was black. I love men in general but find myself more attracted to black men. My husband told me that when he first met me, he knew that I was comfortable around black people. At one time, my house mate and best friend was a black female. He tells me that many white people do not seem genuinely comfortable around black people. I have my own theories about why I am attracted to black men. None of them seem to be in line with your theories. I am a bit overweight right now, but this is recent. Most of the time when I dated black men, I weighed about 105 lbs. I am 5’6″ so I was not overweight at all – in fact, quite the opposite. When I was 14 years old, I became involved with a 14 year old black boy. He was kind, handsome and he was crazy about me. I went with him for almost a year. This was in 1973. I was shunned by many of the white boys at my school. The ones that gave me the hardest time were the ones that I would never have given the time of day. I was head cheerleader for the middle school cheerleading squad and trust me, I never had a problem getting or keeping a boyfriend. I pretty much had my pick and the white boys at my school could not handle the fact that I chose a black boy over them. Later, when I moved up to high school, my black boyfriend and I broke up. White boys began dating me again, but they always expected me to apologize to them for my previous choice and say that I had made a mistake. Even when I was in my late 20s I dated, for a short period of time, a man that had attended the same high school that I had attended. He never knew that I had dated a black guy in middle school because he was 4 years older than I. About 6 months in to the relationship, he came home and told me that one of his friends that was my age told him that I had dated a black guy in middle school. My response was “so what?” I despised him after that. In my opinion, black people in general are less judgemental than whites. I have seen black men that are 5′ tall that have 2 or 3 women fighting over them. Short black men do not seem to have the “little man” syndrome that short white men have. The same goes for bald men. Black men don’t seem to have a self-esteem problem if they are bald, but white men freak out over it. I say that to express that African men, be they African immigrants or African American are not as judgemental as white men. My husband works as an electrical contractor. He tells me on the job sites that the skinniest stick woman can walk by and all of the white guys will go on and on about how good looking she is. Don’t get me wrong, by the time my husband and I got married I weighed about 120 lbs. and although he does not like skinny women, he probably would never have dated me had I been very large. I do not consider myself judgemental. I love people of all races. I have heard women make comments of other women about weight or other flaws. I just don’t notice that sort of thing about people, especially people that I care about. You could put me in a room with 20 men – 1/2 of them white and 1/2 of them black and I would probably pick a black man as a companion every time. Maybe it takes me back to that 14 year old “puppy love” feeling, who knows, but plain and simple, black men turn me on. And, just so you know, I don’t drink or do drugs, I am not what most would consider “fat” and my family loves my black husband….. it is not really tabu for me. Maybe I am an exception, but I don’t really think so.

3. Mwangi says:

   June 28, 2008 at 8:42 pm

   @hijack323: Today everyone leaving comments has such unique first names 😉 Perhaps you are the exception to the rules. Make no mistake about it, my opinions on this matter are not static and do evolve and change depending on what I hear about and experience. So, should I hear enough stories like yours, I will definitely write a Jungle Fever 3.

4. liberiangirl says:

   July 15, 2008 at 12:20 am

   I find this to be somewhat true..especially in the US. It is true that African/black men are naturally(most) attracted to vuluptious women, however I have seen it go waay overboard. It seems like the african/black men I see with these women are very sloppy in appearance..Most of the african men I have known will deal with these women for papers. Most black american men deal with these women because they think they are easy in all aspects(money,sex,able to walk over them).Of course I believe there are some VERY sincere relationships..howeve it is sad that this is the first thing most of us think when we see a black man with a non black female.

5. Mwangi says:

   July 15, 2008 at 12:35 am

   @liberiangirl: Indeed, the way in which we dehumanize people from other races and communities and reduce them into nothing but means to an end (papers, cheap sex etc) is pretty sad.
   It also saddens me how 6 years later, I am still yet to see an African man who hasn’t converted to the church of gangsta rap who has gotten women high up the socioeconomic ladder in Australian society.
   The crude truth about that is probably than when it’s all said and done, we aren’t very high up the socioeconomic ladder in this society and have a lot of work to do: after all isn’t the women one can get usually a pretty crude measurement tool for measuring the worth of a man in society

6. A Few Quick Thoughts About Jungle Fever » The Displaced African says:

   July 25, 2008 at 11:48 pm

   […] one thing to stereotype and it’s another to point out the truth. So, read Jungle Fever now and you tell me, is it true? Does it resonate with your […]

7. Nomadi says:

   July 30, 2008 at 12:11 pm

   This article is rubbish, I read a bit & couldn’t read anymore what a load of Tripe,

   Maybe the dude should just accept he’s an ugly guy surrounded by other ugly guys & simply can’t attract pretty white girls, well thankfully I’ve not had the same sorry experience as him.

   I tend to stick to a particular type, my type, that means educated, slim, proud, confident with no hidden issues or agendas (I don’t like fat girls sorry) I like girls who are progressive & ambitious, the type of girl who makes me feel proud to have on my arm, Who’s proud to have me as well, I don’t compromise my taste which it seems the writer does, I also don’t put any women up as trophies, LOL! We are all just as important, I just think the writer sounds insecure, I don’t need someone to bolster my Ego by telling me white chicks love black dick, I believe girls will love me regardless of my color & for who I am, well that attitude has always worked for me, I mean lets face it a girl with any number of these issues the guy mentions could be of any race not just white.

8. Mwangi says:

   July 30, 2008 at 4:27 pm

   @Nomadi: Welcome to the Displaced African, you certainly came in with a whole lot of passion. If you indeed are exactly who you say you are, then you my friend are the type of people who I want to learn more from. I want to understand what you are doing that my peers are not.
   I think it’s definitely because of the informal and crass language in the post, but I have been very disappointed by the discussion in this post because it seems no one so far has focussed on the final section of the post which begins

   So What’s the Point? What Should We Do?

   Instead people focus on the nature of the article itself or discrediting or proving the ideas within the post. I wrote that post many months ago and by this point I truly “am over” getting that message behind the post out there, I want to discuss how collectively as a people we will rise above the flaws expressed in the post.

   As for my insecurity, that post can’t even begin to capture the full extent and nature of my insecurity or that of my peers, let’s work on that, let’s fix that. Let’s not just point it out and leave it at that, let’s outgrow it and move on to bigger and brighter things.

9. Nomadi says:

   July 30, 2008 at 9:57 pm

   Hello Mwangi,

   Your article disappointed me, I found the article somewhat dated, it had no correlation with the world we live in today, & its far from the experience of me & many other Black men.

   Its all about expectation, it appears many of the readers who agree with this article, have gone into the situation, treating white women like some type of trophy, worth more than anything else, worth more than themselves, I include Mwangi in that bracket, (If he’s who he says he is?)

   If a white woman isn’t fat, on drugs or any of the above mentioned sequences by Mwangi, does this mean you achieved the ultimate, LOL!
   I don’t think like this, anybody who’s parents taught them to be proud of who they are wouldn’t think like this either, I know nice, pretty girls want me just as much as I want them, regardless of color.

   You ask if I’m for real, well I am, but I can ask the same of you? You might be some white racist man who’s discovered a trickish way to air a racist perception of white girls who date Black men? Because the article is in a sense demeaning to Black men & white girls/women, who prefer to date Black men (There are many) “Although I don’t say I’m into this type of white woman” I’m not, nor do I separate women by ethnicity, there are many black/Asians girls who eclipse what Mwangi would describe as a white girl who doesn’t have all the above mentioned problems.

   I mean look at David Bowie, Robert De Niro & Boris Becker (All white men who prefer black girls)

   This article simply talks of a stereotypical attitude many whites may have/ or want to have about white girls who date Black men, so does Mwangi!!? Have a hidden Agenda here? “The picture shows you as a black man”

   I’m African my Daughter is half Tibetan, (Which makes her Mum full Asian), My current Girlfriend is (White) Russian suffice to say, both are slim & beautiful + both had never been out with Black guys prior to me, I didn’t present myself as black/or a white wannabe, (I AM BLACK) “I’m me” Its the same as an insecure dweeb relying on how racist/backward a girl might be to help snare a woman, If the white woman is not prejudiced then the white guy with the expectation his chances are better than the average black doesn’t have a clue what to say to the white woman, (They might have nothing in common)

   A white man who snares a white woman on the basis he expects her to like him more because he’s white, is of cause an example of an insecure white man, this man is not depending on his attraction as a man, he’s depending on how prejudiced the girl might be, to rely on this, is kind of lame, LOL! Be yourself walk up to a woman you’ll be more likely to get her, don’t compare yourself to anyone else, stereotypes are just that, “stereotypes”

   I’ve had many beautiful girls & also a few not so beautiful girls, lol! They choose me over other Black/White/Asian guys, but the choice wasn’t made on color alone, like many silly guys might think, it was made on who I am, (I’m sure I’m not unique in having a beautiful girl choose me over others)

   I’ve also been to many clubs with a beautiful white girl, where there are thousands of beautiful white girls, a black guy comes in & proceeds to make a play for the one solitary white female who is with me? These men carry the same misconceptions & insecurities your article perpetuates, “that the girl likes Black men specifically & will be easier for them to approach, because each man thinks or wants to think he’s the Alpha, I never compare myself to other men, “I’m the best me” I put all my energy into that, (being me.)

   Not to mention I’ve also come across white men who are convinced a white girl will choose them over any black guy/me, when this does not materialize, they walk off in a huff insinuating one or all the claims Mwangi makes. IE, the girl must have one problem or the other, I found this even more true with ethnicities like Italians, Spaniards, Greeks, Arabs & some Indians not necessarily white in London some are quite evolved, they expected the girl to go with them based on whiteness & were annoyed when this didn’t happen, & would often accuse the girl of being fucked up.

   In a sense its a perception by some backward whites that there must be something wrong with a white woman who goes with a black man, LOL!

   I find the stereotypes here wholly untrue, my girl has a masters Degree & like I said she’s beautiful, the only guys who come up to her, regardless of knowing she’s with me, tends to be the more insecure guys who don’t rely on who they are, but how white they are.

   I disagree with the article & question its authenticity & agenda, Albeit Mwangi could be being honest (admittedly) & the scenario he describes might be found some places, but my point is I’ve not found this attitude personally, & I know many other African males who date normal white women as well, of all shapes & sizes, the same way whites find white women “all shapes & sizes”

   To conclude; “What do we do about this problem” First I’ll have to disappoint in the sense that because I haven’t witnessed this so-called-problem, I don’t have a solution.

   But don’t listen to stereotypes they are misleading, Man (The Norse) used to believe the world is flat, that should pretty much explain why people should think of themselves as individuals rather than define themselves by ethnicity. That advice is for black & white guys.

   I know many white guys, who I’ve only seen with ugly girls, or girls who take drugs & have weight problems, so maybe the question should encompass most men rather than singling out black men.

   Nomad,

10. Mwangi says:

    July 30, 2008 at 10:32 pm

    @Nomad: Thanks for engaging me, man. You cannot know how glad I am that you took some of that indignant energy and sublimated me to engage in discussion with me, I truly appreciate that.
    If I may ask, what is your background? How long have you been abroad? I am who I say I am, I am Mwangi so no need to worry about this being some cheap racist ploy, this blog has 180+ articles aside from this one, I think that’s way too much effort just for one article 🙂 .
    One small distinction I should have made early on that has definitely become distinct over time is that the article refers predominantly to Africans fresh off the boat. Seriously, you have never seen this problem? 😀
    That’s fantastic! Tell me in which country you live? What’s the culture like?

11. Nomadi says:

    July 30, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    I’m from the UK, Of West African parentage although I was born in North London, but as you can appreciate I have many Africans friends & they are just like me, with the same attitude, so they are never held back by stereotypes, In the UK we tend to blame the person for being racists not ourselves, for example I normally dismiss a girl with issues about race as “having certain problems”

    If you look at many other aspects of that girls life you’ll find many of those perceptions about this type of girl are true.

    For example some times I’ve had a white girl, say to me, “Why do black men prefer white girls” I put them to right in no uncertain terms, I can’t speak for all Black African men, but? Why does any woman have to be so insecure? Can’t she think I chose her not a whole race, & that I’m with her does not mean I’m with her in preference to someone else, I love all women, its strange, by a woman saying why do you prefer white women, she’s implying the guy has to do all the running, if he did then how the hell did this white girl end up in my bed? She must have done some running as well, nobody is a helpless wall flower, but like I said this scenario implies the girl is insecure & using race to bolster her ego.

    I’ll add that America & Australia are not very good places to observe this type of scenario, they tend to be very insular places, the proof is in this pudding when these same girls come to a place where people are less prejudiced they blend because they don’t want to be left out.

    The white American & Australian girls tend to blend when they come to London, & most people tend not to take on the problems of the average racist as their own problems, IE, A girl with racial issues tends to be described as;”She has some problems with race” These are her problems not mine or black African peoples, so why take on board anybodies problems? Be it fat girls, druggies, racists, wannabe cools, the whole shebang LOL!

    Most good looking African people are viewed by some to be more exotic than a good looking person from their own ethnicity, their are too many issues here to settle with one, but its not really the way you see things Mwangi,

    Like I said I no many African guys who just came to London observe the vibe & blend in.

    Have to go.

    Nomad.

12. Nomadi says:

    July 30, 2008 at 11:56 pm

    I rushed my last reply, but I’ll reply in more detail later.

13. Mwangi says:

    July 31, 2008 at 12:02 am

    @Nomadi: What I have tended to find, and you will probably appreciate this, is as much as it may seem that the article is about race I think something more key to all of this is culture. Someone who has been in the UK as long as you have will probably have very different nature of relationships from someone who has been abroad as long as I have – 6 years – as with someone who has just arrived as with someone who has been abroad for many years but has refused to assimilate culturally and socially.
    I have tended to find that people who were born here or folks who have been here as long as I have or longer have infinitely higher levels of success – from a superficial standpoint only i.e. beauty, social standing of the woman etc, the deeper aspects are another story. From my experience this is simply because over time one is forced to assimilate into the host nation’s country or in your case, grows up with an understanding of all the nuances and idiosyncrasies of it.
    Actually from what I have heard and my experience, Australia is probably the most open and tolerant society around. In comparing notes, whenever we engage in reductionism and try to reduce nations to simplistic characteristics, the general characteristics that come up are:
    America: Big and everything is very rushed. Nice mix of people who are open and people who could care less.
    The UK: Not a friendly society, people joke it’s because of the weather (NB: I only traveled to the UK when very young so can’t confirm or discredit this)
    Australia: Friendly people and waaayyyyy too slow for some (personally I love the pace of life here but to each his own).
    What type of relationships with white women do people your parent’s age have?
    I am sorry to have so many questions, the difference in culture that occurs from living in the West for different periods of time fascinates me and since you are exactly the type of person I wrote this article to attract, your insights are super appreciated.

14. Nomad says:

    July 31, 2008 at 7:18 am

    I respect your point of view, but like I said, it depends on how high your expectations are & what you are willing to settle for, no one is forced to go with the type of girl they don’t really want, & like I said although I was born in the UK, I have plenty cousins & friends who’ve not been in the UK long but do not compromise themselves or conform to these stereotypes you mention. they get beautiful girls of all ethnicities, I agree with one thing, there is a degree of trial & error in the beginning, “feeling the waters so to say” but this is true of everybody (All ethnicities) who start at a point to learn about women, if the man settles with a woman who is not really the type he wants, this means he believes in the stereotypes you are perpetuating & doesn’t think he can get better.

    But I don’t understand what you mean by refuse to assimilate? Assimilating does not mean “compromise your culture” you are not being asked to make a choice, you do what you are happy with, you are confusing the issue if you don’t want to assimilate why want to go out with women who aren’t your culture?

    “Actually from what I have heard and my experience, Australia is probably the most open and tolerant society around” This statement is wrong, even on the basis of the way the Australians have treated their own Aboriginals even in comparison to the Maoris of New Zealand, & its well known the UK has more interracial marriages & relationships than anywhere else in the world, which would suggest Britain is much more tolerant on racial issues,
    Australians may have a more laid back attitude in regards to other issues, this does not necessarily make them more tolerant of other races.

    “from a superficial standpoint only i.e. beauty, social standing of the woman etc”

    Again Mwangi, I think this statement applies to everyone not just blacks/Africans, there is a pecking order, but it transcends ethnicity

    And you do realize that London, (UK) Is a very multicultural city, you’ll not find only English people here.

    I also disagree with your analogy of America, New York is called a melting pot, but unlike London you have several different groups, IE Italian Americans, Hispanic Americans, Irish Americans, Blacks, Whites a multitude of ethnicities, but they don’t necessarily mix & tend to keep to their respective communities, many Americans will confirm this, In the UK people couldn’t care less, you’ll meet more mixed race people in the UK, than anywhere else in the world.

    People in the UK, my parents age in mixed ethnicity marriages, are the same as anyone else, some good relationships some bad, its too general a question.

    Mwangi lots of the things you mention are problems for all ethnicities, these issues are not specific to African men, when Turks, Indians go to a place they’ve never been they all tend to end up with the worst in the beginning, but this changes rapidly like you say, when all these people become more familiar with the territory & the landscape——–

    Unless you believe this stereotype “the only type of white girls an African can get” then you won’t be inclined to go after the woman you really want.

    Nomad.

15. Mwangi says:

    August 2, 2008 at 4:36 am

    @Nomad: Can’t argue with that…makes sense. Hmmm, the only bit of it that I am still unsure about is the comparative level of openness of UK society compared with here. No doubt, since day one Aborginals here have been treated like animals but from what I have seen this harsh treatment is not extended to other minorities – except those who refuse to learn English, that drives many here bananas. Anyway long life to lead, I guess a UK trip is in order one of these days.

16. Nomad says:

    August 3, 2008 at 6:43 pm

    The point is the way the Australians have treated the aboriginals with impunity, is a good indication of how they’d treat someone they consider different from them, (People they consider Inferior to them)

    So they might not treat other minorities the same way they do Aboriginals (They are not in a position to, the new minorities are not so much at the mercy of the Australians) & lets face it Australia needs the extra revenue these minorities bring to Australia.

    But Mwangi your last post sounds suspiciously like you are defending the prejudice shown by Australians to Aboriginals, on one hand you explain what you think is prejudice shown by Australian girls to African men, you claim only white girls with a multitude of problem go for these African settlers in the next breath you tell us the treatment of immigrants is not so bad & the Aboriginals are treated far worse, which is it? Are African men treated well or bad?

    Which means the whole articles purpose is wasted if you think the treatment of Aboriginals is ok & Australia is not at all a racist country (Because they treat other immigrants better than Aboriginals).

17. Mwangi says:

    August 4, 2008 at 7:49 am

    @Nomad: Forgive me for a brief digression before I begin to answer your post specifically, but it has amazed me how much people have read between the lines and searched for subtext from the Jungle Fever article when ultimately the article wasn’t that deep or strategic, I mean it had some depth no doubt, but I am starting to feel that some people feel as though I am using the post to run for office or something, it’s something interesting I have found 🙂

    I think there is a difference between how people act when it comes to romantic and sexual relationships, how people treat acquaintances, how people treat people in the work place and how people from one group treat people from another group in general.
    Jungle Fever was an article that discussed romantic and sexual relationships. In that article, I actually didn’t talk about how African men are treated within this relationships, I simply spoke about the type of women who gravitate towards them? I have heard a lot of African men talk about how well these relationships work from them and a few lament at how badly they went for them. So to answer your question specifically, in romantic relationships, as far as I have seen and heard, African men are treated well (many times better than some of our more immature and self-centred brothers deserve to be, but another post for another day) and some are treated terribly.
    Now, the way Australian society has treated Aboriginals historically and the results that is having today is quite possibly one of the most callous and barbaric things I have ever seen in my entire life. Captain Cook and his crew behaved as though they were animals hell bent on blood and Aboriginals are quite possibly the hardest hit minority I have ever met in my life, in fact I rambled incoherently about this on this post:
    http://www.thedisplacedafrican.com/144/comparing-africans-with-indigenous-people-south-africans-and-african-americans/
    However, me, my family, my friends and other African people have been treated very well, especially when we compare our experiences with what we have heard about in US. In fact if you visit some African forums, many Africans talk about how sad it is that we are treated so much better than Aboriginals who are sometimes treated like animals.
    Is Australia a racist nation? Because of the Aboriginal situation, I agree with you entirely, the answer is hell yeah.
    Hope this clarifies things.

18. 3N says:

    August 12, 2008 at 3:27 am

    this is a very candid observation of what Jungle Fever truly is!

19. Mwangi says:

    August 12, 2008 at 6:17 am

    @3N: Thanks, if you have any insights to add to all of this, please feel free.

20. Gene says:

    August 16, 2008 at 12:53 am

    Hi Mwangi, I just found your site and I am enjoing it very much so. I am a WM from the USA

21. Mwangi says:

    August 16, 2008 at 12:57 am

    @Gene: Thank you for the kind words and welcome 🙂

22. Gene says:

    August 17, 2008 at 9:24 am

    Mwangi, I have experienced the white man’s dread ( to borrow from Todd Wooten, he wrote White Men Can’t Hump ). When you speak honestly about your experience, it helps me so much. I releate to those fanatsies of being “all that” to women. When I see that we are the same in that way, I can see how much we all are alike, no matter what color on the otutside. Its a shame us white dudes have been so insecure and have abussed your people because we tried to live the fantasy that we were better.

    Im sure that the fantasy of a super lover causes lots of white women to want to explore with black men. I know its not just drug addicts, and fat women. It may be that women in general are more open to new things, while us guys are closed and we want to “protect” our women. Only us white guys can pass on our seeds in white women. lol. You may have those protective feelings about black women?

    Anyways thanks for the great site!

23. Todd Wooten says:

    September 6, 2008 at 11:14 am

    What’s up Mwangi,

    I was just strolling through Google and stumbled on the above reference to my book (thanks Gene, though I don’t even know you, LOL!). The reference the gentleman made was accurate, but I believe this chapter excerpt would be much more fitting. This excerpt is from the Chapter “Once you go Black, you don’t go Back. Why?”

    Keep up the good work.
    Respectfully,
    Todd Wooten
    The author of White Men Can’t Hump (As Good As Black Men)
    http://whitemencanthump.com

    “Once you go Black, you don’t go Back” is hardly a Myth, because in
    most cases it’s an easily confirmed reality. The reason the focus of “Once
    you go Black” is primarily on White Women, is because they suffer the
    harshest treatment for betting Black, and they have the hardest time going
    Back. To fully appreciate these occurrences you need to look at the reasons
    why women, primarily White Women, go Black to begin with. I’ve read a
    lot of different viewpoints on this subject, and I’ve witnessed the turmoil
    and the ups and downs firsthand. The most accurate assessment I’ve read
    on this subject is from Emily Monroy, who is a guest columnist for The
    InterRacial Voice and co-editor of the magazine Urban Mozaik. Ms.
    Monroy’s editorial entitled InterRacial Sex examined the 3 Most Common
    Stereotypes applied to White Women who stray from their herd and sleep
    with men of color. Even though her stated focus was on why Whites believe
    Inter-Racial dating occurs, the result was actually more about how White
    Women who stray from their herd are perceived by other Whites. I still
    found her editorial very compelling and very applicable to the “Once you
    go Black” phenomenon. Ms. Monroy is a White Woman who only dates
    men of other Races. She’s stated in her writings that she’s had a Mexican
    boyfriend, a Filipino Boyfriend, and a Lebanese ex-Lover to name a few.
    She also stated that:
    “At this point in my life copulating with a White Man seems about as
    exciting as eating Wonder Bread for breakfast (boring!!!).”

    On that note, I’ll let Ms. Monroy explain how White Women are perceived
    when they occasionally stray from the herd, and then I’ll explain why they
    strayed from their herd and why they usually don’t return once they’ve strayed.

    Emily Monroy’s 3 Most Common Stereotypes of White Women who
    sleep with Men of Color:

    #1 The Slut- A White Girl who willingly sleeps with a man of color is a slut
    or so goes the conventional wisdom. It therefore follows that she lacks any
    Sexual restraint whatsoever. In places like the Old South, such a woman
    faced public whipping, indentured servitude, rejection from her family and
    community, and violence from the Ku Klux Klan. Though now the legal
    consequences of the slut’s behavior have disappeared, and the social ones
    diminished somewhat, the Stereotypes remain.

    #2 The Political Activist- The political activist is a left-wing, socially
    conscious, politically correct woman, who views involvement with a non-
    White Man (especially a Black) as an act of solidarity with an oppressed
    group and perhaps as a means of thumbing her nose at society, and rebelling
    against her family. If she and her partner have children, she is further
    praised in some circles for holding the key to the future of Race relations.
    But many minorities and left-wingers are skeptical of her actions. People
    of color rightly doubt whether Miscegenation will really sound the death
    knell for Racism, given the fact that five hundred years of Race mixing on
    this continent and others hasn’t achieved that goal yet.

    #3 The Ugly Duckling- The ugly duckling is a White Woman who might
    not necessarily get billed as the ‘Ugliest Woman in the World’ at the circus
    but who doesn’t turn heads either. In White circles, that is. As soon as she
    steps out of Fortress Caucasia, she’s the belle of the ball. Men of color
    shower her with attention. In The Color Complex, a Black filmmaker
    humorously describes the allure of the ugly duckling: “Over the years a
    group of Black Boys grew up masturbating with the White Girls in
    Penthouse (adult magazine)….This caused them to go out and date
    any 250-pound greasy White Woman they could find, whose only
    redeeming quality was that they had blond hair, blue eyes, and White
    skin.” The flipside of the ugly duckling Stereotype is the implication that
    she goes out with men of color because she’s not good enough. If she were,
    she could do better (i.e., catch a White Man). Most Stereotypes are ways
    of simplifying complex behavior so that it’s easier to understand.

    Anti-miscegenists can explain away the White Woman who consorts
    with men of color by saying that she’s immoral (the slut), that she’s caught up
    in hopelessly Utopian ideals (the political activist), or that we don’t want her
    anyway (the ugly duckling). But in real life things aren’t so clear-cut. True,
    some White female partners of minority men might be seeking a Sexual
    adventure, trying to fight Racism, or turning to Inter-Racial romance for
    lack of any other choice. But most of these women have simply found the
    right person who, as one White Woman interviewed in The Color Complex
    reported, happens to be another color. As with fornication, adultery, and
    promiscuity, a double standard exists around Inter-Racial Sex. A White
    Woman involved with a man of color commits the cardinal sin of allowing
    an “Other” male to enter her vagina, whereas a White Man who sticks
    his private parts into those of non-White Women draws little criticism as
    long as his relationships don’t get too serious. White society’s outrage over
    Miscegenation has less to do with the purity of the European gene pool
    than with that of the Caucasian Female reproductive system.

    Ms. Monroy tells it like it is and it’s hard to disagree with one word.
    There’s just one more thing I’d like to add to her 3 Most Common Stereotypes.
    What I’m about to add is not a Stereotype, but more importantly, it’s the
    common bond of her 3 Most Common Stereotypes.

    #4 The Unsatisfied- The unsatisfied woman lives within each of Ms.
    Monroy’s 3 Most Common Stereotypes.

    The Slut is obviously unsatisfied and is certainly searching for
    something. A White Woman can immediately earn the title of slut for
    sleeping with one Black Man. At the same time, many promiscuous White
    Women don’t earn the title of slut for sleeping with numerous White Men.
    Is it fair to label a White Woman a slut if she’s slept with numerous White
    Men and was unsatisfied, and then strayed from her herd one time?

    The Political Activist is obviously unsatisfied and is certainly searching
    for something. There are a lot of things you can do to fight Racism and
    spreading your legs is not one of them. And just to add to Ms. Monroy’s
    comment about The Political Activist deciding to have a Bi-Racial baby.
    If the Political Activist decides to have a Black Man’s baby it has nothing
    to do with making a political statement. If the Political Activist decides to
    have a Black Man’s baby it’s because she was hooked on the pipe. I’m not
    talking about the ‘crack pipe’ either.

    The Ugly Duckling; I can’t even type that shit without laughing.
    Every Black Man knows another Black Man who has a White Woman who
    could fall into that category. That shit about masturbating to Penthouse
    Magazine is absolutely true. Penthouse, Playboy and eventually Hustler
    is what most men my age grew up with. You rarely (if ever) seen Black
    Women in those publications. The first time I saw a Black Woman in an
    adult magazine was in my Grandfather’s copy of Chunky Asses (he was
    well over the age of 70 at the time). This magazine featured Women of all
    Races, and none were less than 300 lbs. The Ugly Duckling is obviously
    unsatisfied and is also searching for something.

    You can label these women with any Stereotype you like, but the
    bottom line is, they weren’t satisfied with their herd, so they decided to
    stray. Usually satisfaction or lack thereof, plays a major role with these
    women. They are either emotionally unsatisfied, Sexually unsatisfied, or
    both. Why White Men get pissed off over this shit I’ll never know. When a
    White Woman strays from the herd, White Men have no one to blame but
    themselves. Just like Black Men have no right to complain when a beautiful,
    educated, Black Woman is in the arms of a White Man. Black Women
    routinely have to tip-toe through a minefield of Black Men. That minefield
    consists of men who are Dogs, Players, Unemployed, Incarcerated, Gay/
    on the Down Low or HIV Positive. Other ethnic groups have many of the
    same problems; it’s just magnified with Black Folks because there’s a
    growing shortage of good Black Men. Black Men who don’t fall into any
    of the above categories are considered a “Hot Commodity,” and take full
    advantage of the Clean-Cut Brother Shortage. White Guys help their cause
    by being selfish spoiled babies.

24. JoAnna says:

    September 28, 2008 at 3:13 am

    It was interesting reading your post. I’ve seen instances of the stereotype, I won’t deny it. This was when I spent a year in the US (Connecticut). I’m not labeling Americans as “worse” than Canadians (ie such as myself)- what i’ve noticed is the different genetic backgrounds between Americans and Canadians: this was pretty much the only place I was around black people. Where I’m from in Canada (and to where I have returned) every now and again I’ll see black men but it’s just when I go to the city, and even then, the ratio has to be less than 1 in 100. In my home town, the is not one black person. I still grew up aware of the male gangster stereotype and big c&&k rep via TV. Somehow I though it was all BS. I guess I don’t take the media that seriously, but it would also have a lot to do with the amount of exposure I’ve had. Anyway, my concept of blacks was pretty much that they were a minority and simply because of this, they had a battle to face socioeconomically. But that was it. When I think of black men, I think of a taller person (because they were taller in CT, which is probably not the case everywhere), muscular (again, because they were, ON AVERAGE, more muscular than Caucasians), and black. Between that and the fact that they have an undeserved battle to face, I honestly don’t think I perceive anything beyond that. Do I think black men are attracted to the women in that pic? Hell no. But from what I saw, there was some truth the the 5 stereotypes you listed.
    Anyhow, I went out with Reg, a black guy when I was there and he was absolutely gorgeous. Had an English degree as well. And he was sooooo sweet. In essence, on hell of a catch. It was interesting because when I told my roommates that I was going out with a black guy, they told me I was putting myself in danger and not to go near him. I didn’t get it. It worried me a little because they all shared the same opinion and I was the only one without experience living with blacks, but I still kept seeing Reg. Well, he is a gem and they couldn’t have been more wrong. Anyhow, in short, I grew up in a pretty remote area, and while I was aware of the stereotypes, they didn’t stick. I was like any person: looking for a caring, smart, cute partner. And Reg happened to fit the category. And he was black. It didn’t go deeper than that. Don’t know what my point is- guess I just wanted to share my experience because while I did appreciate the post, it has not been my experience at all.
    By the way, I’m 5’4, 112 pounds, have an honors psychology degree, and think I’m a bit of a catch myself 🙂

25. JoAnna says:

    September 28, 2008 at 3:39 am

    And by the way, the post above mine makes me want to cry because of the truth to it: there are few pics of black women in “men’s magazines”. This is so obviously due to stereotypes- the most attractive women are black. Five years after I moved back to Canada, I married a phenomenal white guy. But he agrees with me too (which initially hurt a bit when he agreed with my opinion, I will admit!). And it’s also true that there’s more poverty, drugs, etc in the black community. That’s also due to white racism and blacks’ internalizing the stereotypes. I’m so sad to admit that this is the case. As a woman, I get so mad when I see women in mags (women and men’s) where they are anorexic, in submissive poses, objectified in the sense that they are used for aesthetic purposes, not recognized for anything beyond their looks, and are also not represented unless they are within the top 2% of looks and under 30 (or have had enormous surgery to look under 30). Hence the vast majority of white women’s low self esteem (of normal looks, not just the ones we discriminate, above).So I can imagine that a similar experience, but compounded, would be so damaging. It hurts me to see- it must really suck to live it. All I can tell myself is that like the woman’s movement, the black movement is happening, albeit slowly. People just can’t relax, especially at the critical point where they could do, since their situation has increased enough to be tolerable (but is still undesirable).

26. Mwangi says:

    September 28, 2008 at 9:56 pm

    @JoAanna: Hey,
    Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I think reactions such as your stories, combine with the various stories, insults and thanks I have had hurled my way have definitely convinced me that this is a topic area that needs its own separate place to be discussed in depth.

    One thing though stuck in my mind about your story. Your friends kept warning you about dating a black man. Few questions:
    1) A black man as in African man or African American man or Afro-latino man or all of us bunched together? And if Africans, were they talking about a specific country like Kenya, Nigeria, Ethiopia, South Africa etc etc etc?
    2) What did they think was dangerous about dating one?
    3) Had they dated one in the past?
    4) What were their races? Were they all Caucasian?

27. Todd Wooten says:

    October 1, 2008 at 6:41 am

    Wonderful story JoAnna. I applaud your courage and open-mindedness. There’s a new documentary entitled “Interracial Dating in America: Uncovered” (available on Amazon.com) which covers every aspect of Black and White relationships. This documentary features the views of White Women, Black Men, White Men, and Black Women. It then takes the stereotype debate one step further by showing members of each of the groups I just listed, but with opposing views, i.e., Black Women who date interracially and why, and then Black Women who deplore interracial dating and why.

    As a nation, America has come a long way. You don’t have to look any further than the candidacy of Barack Obama to realize this, but this documentary is proof that we still have a long way to go.

    Peace,
    Todd Wooten
    The author of
    White Men Can’t Hump (As Good As Black Men)

28. lovesculture says:

    October 10, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    Dear Mwangi,

    I just found this post tonight while trying to search for different perspectives on relationships between African men and white women. Information in detail about relationships between the two which would provide a different source of insight on the topic.
    What I was looking for and will continue to search; is for a perspective where an African man and a white woman who have made a long term relationship between the two cultures work and why. It would also be interesting to hear about why they haven’t worked/ won’t.
    The fact that humanity is divided by dynamics of gender, ethnicity/culture, experience & socioeconmics; it seems that anything is possible depending on the variables of the situation. Years ago, my best friend was in a paper marriage with a African man and I have also known persons in relationships with the unfaithful African partner. Stories from other peoples experiences which have perpetuated the negative sterotypes.
    I guess what I’m wondering is; Have you ever known anyone who has
    been in a long lasting relationship between a African man and a white woman? Is it possible? (I did read all the posts and understand that Katherine was in a relationship with a African man but for all I know she could have met him two weeks prior.) From this blog, my guess would be no. Yet, I will not assume that is the answer. Your a wonderful writer, I might add- I’ll be reading more.
    😉

29. Mwangi says:

    October 10, 2008 at 7:38 pm

    @lovesculture: As I said in the comments above, in my exuberance to write an article (this was one of the first articles I ever wrote and I was in a beautiful writing frenzy when I wrote my first few artcles), I forgot to make a very important caveat:

    The article above refers to two types of African people – people who are fresh off the boat either physically or still fresh off the boat mentally.

    Speaking as someone who came in my mid-teens and has seen people who have assimilated (such as some of my friends) culturally and people who have not assimilated (such as myself) into the culture of the land, the realities are entirely different.

    Because of the cultural match, there are many black men, black teens, black men who have great relationships with white women. In fact, one of my mother’s best friends has a son who has a wonderful great relationship with a white person.

    So, yes the relationships do exist, especially for people who come to the new country in their mid-teens or below, for the fresh off the boats, that’s much more tricky because:

    Forget what the hype says, to assimilate into your culture, you must discard either elements or the entirety of your previous culture

    All this stuff about preserving your old culture while assimilating for the most part is B.S. (I did say for the most part, so there are wonderful exceptions).

    Some quick meandering thoughts, hope that helps.

30. Mwangi - the Displaced African says:

    October 13, 2008 at 3:27 am

    @Todd Wooten: I forgot to say welcome to tDA and thanks for the nice long comments and sharing your ideas. Hope they are of use to other readers of this article.

31. daniel lawson says:

    October 16, 2008 at 9:40 am

    well my aim over here is that i need a white woman to get married with ?

32. Mwangi says:

    October 16, 2008 at 11:08 am

    @daniel: If you are joking, that’s hilarious. However, if you are serious that out of all the things on this Earth you could want, your sole goal is to marry a white woman, then depending on your intention behind that, might be a good thing or might be a very sad thing. I don’t know. I would have to know more I guess………..

33. nkosi says:

    November 4, 2008 at 4:20 am

    Hello Mwangi..awesome blog. like you, i used to be a Melbourne guy (for 3 yrs). i’ve just skimmed through some of the posts here, and i agree totally with regards to IR dating in Australia (it seems like we both see through the same lens). i will post my thoughts later about this, but for now, let me say that I have been to the USA via London and what i witnessed in the Northern hemisphere is different with regards to IR dating. i did not see any brothers with ‘kilogrammically’ challenged women whilst in London. I have had cousins and uncles who like me have studied outside Africa, and from their experiences and their observations whilst overseas, it seems to me like us Africans who’ve lived in Australia have gotten the short end of the straw..if you want beautiful, slim but curvaceous, educated (or at least intelligent), cultured white women, Europe seems to be the place…I’ve witnessed this myself…my cousin is now married to a beautiful Swedish woman who studied medicine with him whilst he was over in Sweden (he even speaks the language since it’s a prerequisite to study over there). from the stories of his travels to Hungray, Slovenia, Russia, Norway and other countries that are not used to black people, dating the women of your dreams is not far fetched at all!!..you don’t have to be spectacular like tiger Woods, Obama or Kofi Annan..even ordinary African guys like us can be successful if we just show a bit of courtesy, intelligence, ambition, open-mindedness, etiquette, good upbringing, etc..l8r man..rock on!

34. Mwangi says:

    November 4, 2008 at 2:56 pm

    @nkosi: Thank you for coming and sharing some constructive forward moving thoughts. What you described sounds fantastic. Though you understand I must be wary of investing in fools good before I see it in my own eyes.
    After all, my libido and my ego were boosted sky high before coming to Oz and we all know how that came.
    If what you are saying is true though, there might be some archetypes in Europe worth finding, drawing out and presenting to everyone else on forums such as this one……….

35. Jo says:

    November 16, 2008 at 12:26 am

    hi mwangi

    well firstly thanks for a thought provocative blog! i’m actually a white aussie woman now living in london. i worked as a teacher with adult african students for many, many years in australia & now i find myself living in london & dating an african man for the first time…so i guess i can try & see the land from both sides of the fence as it were!

    i perhaps fit one of your stereotypes in that yes i am a curvy (but not obese) woman but my kenyan partner is more than happy with that & was one of the reasons he was attracted to me in the first place. and yes, i think african men can use a lot of ‘sweet’ talk…but this is ok if it’s followed up with genuine action & respect.

    i do feel that despite all the race problems in the uk, that it is more tolerant here particularly in the big cities- my partner & i can walk down the street holding hands without so much as a glance as there are many, many inter-racial couples here. australia on the other hand, whilst being a laid back relaxed place to live is i feel quite racist in many ways with lots of narrow-minded attitudes…and i say that as an australian sadly.

    i have always dated men from different cultures than my own (middle easterm croatian etc) & have friends from many different backgrounds & have lived in other cultures as well, so i’m a great believer in cross-cultural relationships & friendships as one of the ways forward to tolerance & harmony. that may sound a little idealistic i know but understanding others who are ‘different’ than us really is necessary to breakdown steroptypes & hopefully challenge racism.

    i think some of your blog statements may be right…but i also believe that there are enough people in the world enjoying successful cross-cultural/interracial relationships to ensure that there is another story to be told. 🙂

36. Mwangi says:

    November 16, 2008 at 9:33 am

    @Jo: Hmmm, I wonder how accurate that is? I have now heard a couple of opinions about the racist mentalities of folks down here, but so far they are yet to gel with my experiences but should that change I’ll be sure to post about it.
    As I said, one of the things about my article is I attempted to diagnose a problem I saw and didn’t give any remedies or solutions – which always irks me when I don’t do that – so any alternative archetypes I am always open to hearing about and more importantly seeing and experiencing so I can record the results here.

37. Lahna says:

    November 23, 2008 at 12:01 pm

    This has definatly been an interesting read…. I should mis-spell words more often in a google search……. Every one seems to have their own little opinion on this subject.. but WoW some of you have really gotten upset over this…
    I am first generation American on my father’s side(Persian) and my Mother is well.. a mutt as I put it.. lol.. blonde & her side of my family has been here for ages…… so maybe I see things a little bit differently.
    I have never particularly found only one race of men attractive, nor only one “type” of man either…… I have dated African American men, hispanic, middle eastern, native american & most any combination of “white”….. I guess I just don’t particularly understand the “taboo” thing between any combination of races… we are all human are we not?…. I have never understood why the tint of a person’s skin or where they were born had anything to do with who they choose to become as a person… I have never had the pleasure of living anywhere but North & Central America (besides when I was an infant)… but I have seen a lot of these characteristics that you have blogged about….. the first frican american boy I ever dated the only main problems that we had was thoes given to us both by african american females….. when I went to meet his family I discovered that both of his siblings were also in relationships with caucasions….. ok… I’ve just let this comment turn into a rant so I will finish for now 😉

38. Mwangi says:

    November 23, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    @Lahna: Thank you for stopping by and sharing your opinion. I have probably mentioned this in the comments above, but the reason that “race” is so important is because it isn’t just about the color of one’s skin.
    I have also mentioned this in some post, but most African people before they arrive in a Western country don’t think of themselves as “black” or “African” and don’t ever bother thinking about how this makes them different from other people.
    The moment you arrive in the West you fully realize that there is this race of black people, that has its own history (slavery, colonization, oppression, decolonization, civil rights), culture ( familiarity with poverty, women having issues over their hair, light skinned black people being perceived differently from white skinned) and importantly that people react to you differently because of this race and have certain expectations of you.
    Much more important, in my opinion, in a country like Australia is the culture you adopt. Here in Australia the lifestyles of a fresh off the boat (FOB) African is extremely different from an African who grew up here or came here when young and is equally as different to an African American’s and all this affects the type of people you tend to attract.
    The article above mainly refers to African FOBs and to be honest, in my observation, hardly if ever applies to African Americans or Africans who grew up here………..

39. Lahna says:

    November 24, 2008 at 3:58 am

    Thank you for your response! So from what you have said it’s really not abour race at all it has to do with the heritige of the people. I have studied culteral anthropology & it makes sense that the culture that some one was raised in would have a lot to do with these factos rather than the tint or he of their skin. Different cultures have very different ways of veiwing & seeing the world we all live in.

40. Mwangi says:

    November 24, 2008 at 4:13 am

    @Lahna: Yup, if by heritage you are referring to a culture and all that encompasses definitely.
    In fact, to make a somewhat controversial statement, I would even go so far as to say that race and race issues have never been about the tint of one’s skin but have always been more about culture in that it has always just been away of those in power segregating and therefore controlling people.
    If race wasn’t used, I am sure folks in power can always use something else, e.g. religion in the current world or gender etc etc etc

41. Lahna says:

    November 24, 2008 at 4:17 am

    makes complete sense….. people thuought history have used religion as a way to control the people “below” them…. but that would take me off on an entirely different rant….. so I will be nice & maintain the subject of your page 😉

42. nkosi says:

    November 27, 2008 at 12:08 am

    Hi Mwangi,

    I’m back..now as a guy who lived & studied in melbourne once for a few years, i see through the same lens as you, but let me make it clear, that what i am about to write only pertains to my observations about IR dating in Australia…and no where else. I have observed that in Australia the percentage of Fresh-of-the-Boat African men dating women who look like the obese ones you posted at the top of this page is extremely high!! it is so obvious that no African who’s ever lived in Australia will disagree with you. now i think those people who are offended by your post don’t realise that you do not mention ALL types of black men..you are specifically mentioning fresh-of-the-boat Africans..who reside in Australia (i hope?!) whilst in Melbourne, i noticed that African American men (or African men who grew up in Australia) generally DO NOT date the type of women we F-O-B Africans date…they do not scrape the bottom of the barrel so to say. I’m not including myself in this, bcos the truth is i never dated any white woman in Australia although i did date IR, even though the obese and/or hideous looking white women used to flirt with me often, and like you, i actually questioned why the FOB African loves the Kilogrammically challenged white woman so much (although i have seen a few exceptions who don’t date those types of white women of course). is it bcos he feels he can’t do better? is it bcos he’s only using her? is she only with him bcos she feels rejected by the white men in her society and he’s the last resort..if that’s the case, then that says a lot about our self worth as Africans. it seems to me that decades of colonization and exploitation the African continent has been subjected to have caused us Sub Saharan Africans to collectively internalize this feeling of ‘less than,’ and this mentality only becomes obvious once we step out to the Western world…all of a sudden you start questioning yourself & thinking of yourself differently. i don’t know about you, but i started questioning my self worth when i came to Australia..which was a blessing bcos it made me soul search and made me stronger. this whole arrogance/ego thing that me and you have observed in some of our african brethren is just a facade to hide some inner insecurities and feelings of inadequacy or ‘less than’. now I’m glad Lahna mentioned that she’s half Persian bcos not all the F-O-B african men i knew who dated IR dated obese and/or ugly white women..a good number of them dated other races and/or cultures of women who did not fit any of the 5 stereotypes you mentioned. i had an rwandan friend who dated a slim, verry beautiful, soft spoken, friendly, intelligent woman whom he happened to be in college with; i knew a zimbabwean chap who was engaged to a beautiful Chilean woman; i knew a few F-O-B africans who dated Malaysian, Indian-Mauritian, Chinese, Indian-Fijian, Israeli, Vietnamese, Croatian, Turkish and a chap with another driven, corporate, well dressed, well groomed, inteligent Sri-lankan women…i totally agree with you when you mention that Sri Lankan women are stunningly beautiful and nurturing. infact, Melbourne women are beautiful period. Melbourne is one of the most multi-cultural cities in the world and it shows!..if you know wat i mean..and hence i ask you Mwangi, have you ever tried looking into potential relationships with other women either than white? infact, why don’t you do some research those Africans who date interracially, but not white..you’ll notice a huge difference…you could even blog about it..that would be interesting…one other thing i have observed, those relationships involving F-O-B African and other non white/non blak women seem to be based on love and mutual understanding and respect, not some of the dodgy issued associated with relationships between white women and black men.

    Btw, not all of us Africam men are attracted to fat women. this is a steretype that seems to be making the rounds, but i know in West Africa and many parts of Africa that may be the case, but a lot of African men (especially those from Angola, Mozambique Botswana, South Africa, Namibia, Lesotho and other countries below the equator) like ‘curvy’ women..think Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez, Meagan Good and even Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas..none of these women are fat, but they have buttocks, wide hips, narrow waists, but you can never describe them as fat, let alone obese..in Botswana, these type of women are the standard – slim with large behinds..you’re right! southern Africa is blessed with stunning women..that’s my type of woman, and i know i speak for many African men. i doubt if Somalian, Ethiopian women like fat women either.

43. Mwangi says:

    November 27, 2008 at 12:58 am

    @nkosi: Thanks for sharing. You know now that you’ve mentioned it, its actually quite amazing the quality of women even FOBs get when they decide to date Indians or Sri Lankans. I can think of some women now who are drop dead gorgeous.
    I pretty much agree with you through and through. I have said it over and over in the comments thread. This article is about FOBs. These standards don’t apply for Africans who grew up here or African Americans at all, they only apply to FOBs, especially in my observation, East Africans, Southern Africans and West Africans. I don’t know that many North Africans but considering the huge Arab community don’t here, I would assume they have different standards too.
    The reason I wrote the Jungle Fever article, btw if you look its almost a year ago now, was because of how someone set me up with such high expectations which were sequentially brought down.
    If I never came with expectations, my experience of Australia would probably have been grossly different. In fact my advice would probably be, you don’t know what to expect because you never know what type of relationship (and with whom) you can get when you come down here.
    Will I write anymore about Jungle Fever or interracial dating, probably not, but I definitely want to start up an international dating blog at some point where I get view points from all races and socioeconomic immigrant backgrounds, I think that would be exciting.
    Anyway, thanks for sharing nkosi

44. Eve says:

    December 14, 2008 at 12:41 pm

    This article made me sad, because it’s so true! Most women in the West suffer from low self-esteem, due to advertisements, constantly bombarding us with images of the ‘perfect woman.’ So, maybe we see men who are not part of the ‘oppressive white male system’ as more compassionate, but it doesn’t work out that way! I guess it’s just another one of our stupid romantic myths, like you can still find a ‘Mr Darcy’ in England, still!

45. Mwangi says:

    December 14, 2008 at 4:22 pm

    @Eve: As unpopular as this will sound, I don’t think that Western women, or just women in general, constantly striving for a high standard of beauty (I don’t know why people say its impossible, there are people who are clearly just hot even without the makeup and the bright lights) isn’t just because of marketing.
    Its either innate or something that was conditioned into almost every culture in the world at some point for women to constantly want to be beautiful and for the most beautiful women to always be the most desirable.
    And you’re right, those who unfortunately don’t fall into the category of “beautiful”, definitely feel less than those who do and this makes them more susceptible to people who may not have the best of intentions.

46. nkosi says:

    December 15, 2008 at 3:57 am

    hi Mwangi,

    just for light hearted sake, i thought i would paste a post i read on some forum ( i think it’s called sudan forums). i copied some stuff there and pasted it cos it really made me laugh – sorry i forgot the link though. anyway, the title of the post was; “The Obama Effect and how it affects the plight of fat white chicks”….

    …-“Until recently the black man in America has not had gourmet picks from the world of white girls, instead he has been restricted to a specific genre of white chics. If you are unfamiliar with the genre I speak of; take sometime in your life and travel to the great US Midwest. Once there, visit any predominantly white night club and observe how American brothas and their African counterparts are drawn to large white chics like Somali pirates are drawn to vessels.It is a phenomenon that anyone who has lived in a US college town will attest to.

    The phenomenon is obviously looked down upon by sistas and for good reason. Sistas see it as a blow to their integrity that a brotha would leave a booty-full, intelligent, God fearing and respectful black lady and opt for a white chic. Sistas will quickly brandish such a brotha with “sellout” or ‘not strong enough to handle a black woman’ label. Pundits have been drooling and raving over every move by Obama, analyzing the shit out of Hillary Clinton’s role as Secretary of State and wondering out loud how Bill Clinton can stay so close to the White House with so much free time and not stain another dress. What the pundits are missing to point out is the negative impact Obama’s success is having on fat white chics. Because of Obama, brothas are getting love from all kind of white chics including the hip ‘I could really use a meal’ kind that usually just have ‘a black friend’‘. We are talking here of Café lattes, Chihuahua in a Dolce bag type of chics. The same chics whose collection of novels just got diversified with Obama’s ‘The Audacity of Hope’ and 3N’s soon to be released ‘How to woo an Ivy League Black Man for Dummies & Blondes’.

    Those are the girls who are now dipping into the once reserved for fat white girls pool of dark knights in shining armor wielding long weapons of mass destruction. Those Obama girls are ruining a system that has not been perfect but has worked well for white fat chics. Someone needs to urge the Obama-Biden administration not to ignore the plight of the white fat chics. We need to come together and work towards an America where every girl, white or black, large and small, get their fair share of brotha love.”

    ..i laughed my a** off when i read this. when i read the hread however, some african american dude made it clear that although the predominantly fat white woman phenomenon may be the case in the midwest, in Califormnia and the west it’s not so…although i assume this story was meant as a joke, at least it gives a brother hope that this sorry state of affairs you write about in your article will come to an end, especially when i read one of the replies (which i copied and pasted, which says , “I came from Chicago and was in Houston and went to an African Party not long ago, when all of a sudden several white girls came to the party with their African Friends. The word out was that they are looking for Black Men in the hopes of producing Barack Obama’s of the future. Specifically they were looking for Kenyans. Word is out now, Brothers are really hot these days.”

    i’ve now realised you are not the only person who talks candidly about this topic on the internet..even though this is a controversial topic that some people take the wrong way, i always find it very amusing. be well dude

47. Mwangi says:

    December 15, 2008 at 4:18 am

    @nkosi: Thanks for sharing that. You know, we are yet to fully see what the effects of Obamania will be upon the psyche of four groups: African Americans, Africans, Kenyans and Jaluos and I am waiting to see just what it’ll be.
    Even I, a person who wasn’t a member of his groupie train, have had my psychology dramatically shifted by Barrack’s presidency.
    There are other people who talk about this??! I have been online full time for almost exactly a year and have never seen other folks talking about this, no wait, I have but usually its in forums, and usually its so mixed in with tongue-in-cheek, rants, unrelated rhetoric and other factors that I never know whether they are speaking truth or just spilling the contents of their rich imagination.
    That having been said, we African fellows need to step our game up too man. We can’t remain this low on the totem pole, “No we can’t”
    Be blessed too bruh

48. lovesculture says:

    December 15, 2008 at 4:39 pm

    I think that its time to pass the superficial mind set of ethnicity and come to the facts that there are but two species; regarding humans. That being the man and the woman.
    How sad it is for a woman to want to create the next “obama”. (this line is directed toward nkosi)
    In reality, mentality is the determination variable coupled with the ignorance of what success is considered. Any person can achieve what they want when they strive for a goal.
    There are black men who love black women and white men who love white women; how beautiful. Yet, never forget that if a white man loves a black woman; or a white woman loves a black man; and vice versa
    those variables exist and they are a beautiful truth on their own!
    The cultural integration; no matter what the difference is a beautiful one; if one is open enough to see it!
    We have come to a point in humanity where its imperative to accept it and embrace it; Its not different than the daily meals to which we consume or the daily drink to which we imbibe!
    Love is what humanity needs, Judgement needs not to be passed.
    That may be the utopia re-stated from past unto the present but it is a truth that if embraced can bring the stability which humans need.
    Love is learned, love is earned; and we find it when we look to other directions that we may travel & its not easy.
    The way that I love African culture is the same way I love other cultures; in their faults and in their righteousness.
    Beauty has been lost because of the way things are seen; not because the beauty is not there.
    Much love and respect towards all;
    And I have to thank Mwangi for creating this forum opening the hearts and minds; creating this dialog and perspective that spans from the east to the west.

    -AnnaliseK./ Loves culture.

49. Mwangi says:

    December 15, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    Well, who am I to argue with such a mellifluously written monologue, and a compliment too 😛

50. magoo says:

    December 15, 2008 at 9:10 pm

    was very wise 2 end up the blog with the stay away from porn phrase
    presume the porn thing is pretty involved here though im sort of positive that some ladies find tanned or dark guys basically interesting with no inferiority complex 2 relate 2 or 2 much watched porn