Part seven of the 10 things I wish I knew before leaving Africa
From Wikipedia encyclopedia: Jungle fever- a slang term for interracial relations
It was my last week in Kenya and I was just about to be shipped off to Australia. There I was, casually sauntering through Carnivore trying to convince older women that I still wasn’t being breast fed. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a friend of mine, drunker than a depressed brewery worker, come staggering down. He staggered directly to me, plopped his hand on my shoulder and delivered a monologue that I will probably never forger until the day I die. I paraphrase:
“You guy as you ship over, remember something….(dramatic pause) Those Western women love black d***. These chicks wait at the airport with signs just chilling for the next black dude to step off the plane..(At this point, I drifted off into fantasy land imagining the possibilities of what he had just told me)”
You can’t even imagine what that did to me. As I stepped on that Kenya Airways plane, I had a pep in my step and I wasn’t looking back. And then I arrived!!!
So What Do I Know Five Years Later?
I am glad you asked. I have been in boarding school in the country, Christian schools, public schools, different cities, different states and different Universities. I have hung out with Kenyans, Zims, Tswanas, Ugandans, Asians, Indians, Caucasians the whole shebang (btw what type of word is shebang? who came up with a word like shebang?). My observation is pretty simple. African men being mighty conquerors who head on over to Western countries and can seduce any Western woman they want because they all swoon over him: by and large that’s a myth!
There are in general five types of Western women who get jungle fever for African men:
1) Girls with low self esteem
2) Girls who are ‘kilogramically challenged’ aka a tad bit overweight
3) Girls with drug problems
4) Girls who wanna ‘be down’ (think double-entendres here)
5) Girls who watch too much interracial porn or spend way too much time in fantasy land
Low Self Esteem and Overweight
I have put these two together for one reason. Now ladies, please, correct me if I am wrong: I have noticed that as far as woman are concerned, even in this post-feminist age, majority of women still pretty much value themselves on the basis of their beauty and/or their desirability to potential suitors.
If you don’t believe me, Google ‘Weight loss’ and see how many results come up. Go to the supermarket and check how many of those magazines talk about fabulous dresses and ways to please your man. Finally, tell a girl she is stupid and unemployable and watch her reaction. Finally tell her she is ugly and no one will ever find her attractive.See which of the two derives a stronger reaction (btw please don’t actually do this experiment to see how hurt someone gets, I can tell you right now in my experience it’s the ugly comment that hurts the most)
So let’s assume you now agree with me. Now out here in the West, fat women aren’t generally considered beautiful. Therefore if women feel they are not beautiful and desirable they tend to feel pretty worthless and have self-esteem and self-confidence issues.
Cue the African Man
I won’t even bother explaining and philosophizing on it……I’ve got two stories for you:
The Story of the Fully Stocked Fridge (An African Man’s Take on Why We Sleep with Fat Western Women, again I paraphrase. Actually anytime I quote someone, assume I am paraphrasing and not giving you a verbatim quote unless I state otherwise): So you’re in the club and you know, you are not there to preach. You have three missions, chill with your boys, grab a cold one and finally maybe leave with a little something something…..
So you check in the club it’s maybe 9:30pm, sit down and start vibing with your boys. The pints start coming and a good time is being had by all. Then around midnight,you start to feel your soldier down south telling you it’s time to go hunting.
So you know, there are a few mirooz(Africans for the uninitiated) around, so you begin campaigning. You ask to the left, is nothing. You ask to the right, nyimwad (denied).
Then you notice something out of the corner of your eye but you push it aside. Around 2:30 a.m. that thing that was taking up just a corner is now taking up the ENTIRE space of both your eyes. She’s a big woman and you’re like, “There’s no way…there’s just no way.”
At 3 a.m., you rewrite your rules and draft a new constitution. And so you look around and say to yourself, “Enyewe njaa ni mbaya (the hunger is bad).”
3:15a.m., you are there with your hand outstretched, asking her if you can connect the dots. Talking is just a formality and after a quick convo, you leave together.
Now the great thing about sleeping with a big woman is come the next morning. You have finished your work. Now she’s a big woman so you’ve just put in overtime on that shift. But when you go to the fridge…..”
“….Fully loaded! If you’re a broke or a student, it’s like going to heaven. By sleeping with big mamas you save $50 in shopping every week.”
So What’s the Game Plan?
The Book Review (This is another friend of mine telling me about a book he had just recently read):
“The guy who wrote the book is a bright guy. Now anytime you look at a group of chicks, there is always either an ugly one or a fat one, sometimes they are the same person. Now other guys will be campaigning for the other chicks, but you, you’re a time saver. You compromise on quality for the evening and you slide on in to the unattractive often neglected friend. A bit of flattery, make her feel beautiful and boom, you’re in.”
Btw both stories are true, a bit exaggerated but very very true.
Has a Drug Problem and Wants to Be Down
Again these two are very much related. These women tend to be the women who are knee deep into the hip hop culture and think that African is one big country where we ALL listen to hip hop and act like 50 cent-Ask someone who’s been in the West a while and you learn this stereotype is surprisingly common.
So after listening to enough Bone Thugs n Harmony, they begin to sample marijuana, or a bit of cocaine or speed or whatever. And soon enough they become addicted. What do they do?
1) First they seek people to smoke with. (btw I kid you not, for those of you who haven’t found enough odd things on the Internet, there is actually a dating site for marijuana smokers. I guess we all need love…..)
2) And then they seek someone to sell them the drugs on a regular basis
Cue the Black Man
This spot is reserved for the African brothers who are also knee deep into hip hop. In my first couple of years here, it was quite common for people to stop me and ask me if I had any drugs or any pills. So if a white girl finds a brother and he can fulfill he narcotic cravings, it’s a match made in heaven, or grown in a coca farm in Bolivia.
A Few Problems Though
1)Some of these women tend to take this trying-to-be-African-American-thing a bit too far and even decide they will try to be drama queens like, “some of the sistaz they saw on TV.” This pretty much guarantees that a quiet night of socializing turns into a session where she huddles up with ‘her girlfriends’ to talk about, “men aint worth s……”
2) When she tires of the hip hop lifestyle or she outgrows it or the consequences come knocking, she will dump a brother and leave him cold and alone faster than you can say, “She’s my woman and she’s gonna stand by her………”
The Mandingo Fantasy
In truth, this fantasy probably plays a role in almost all cases of Jungle Fever. This fantasy basically reduces all young black men all over the world into strong ebony love-making Gods with elephant trunks swaying between their legs and the love-making skills of Don Juan in his prime. Women who strongly by into this fantasy tend to have either watched too much interracial porn or too many movies that talk about how, “brothers are packing down south.” Now I am yet to meet an African man who is willing to argue against this fantasy or attempt to disprove it in any way. I am not about to but it’s definitely something that’s there and you should know about.
However, if you wanna know what type of women regularly try to test out this fantasy to see if it matches reality, generally they have characteristics 1 through 4 in the list above.
So What’s the Point? What Should We Do?
Well this depends on what you want. What my friend promised me at Carnivore is true. If you are coming to Australia just to get laid without regard for the type of person you sleep with, you can. All you have to do is hang around the night clubs and flatter people here and there. In fact a friend of mine’s strategy consists of him going to a club sitting down, drinking and waiting for a white girl to come and flirt with him.
However, if you want good quality relationships, as is always the case, it is very difficult to find. What I would advise is you best be bringing something else to the table rather than a promise of a trunk long enough to choke a gorilla. The people who get the quality tend to be very interesting special people; They may be good looking. They may have a very endearing idiosyncrasy. They may be so smooth they can skate on sand. They may be extraordinarily gifted at business, writing (that’s me 😀 lol), sports, academia whatever. I think the solution to the quality problem is, as much of a cliche as it is:
Know what your passions are. Pursue your passion with vigour and intensity and if you grow a garden beautiful enough, people will come. In truth, from an empirical standpoint, I am not really sure what the solution is. However,I will definitely make it one of the points of this blog to answer that question. I really hope this blog has served.
Before you leave make sure you leave a comment below and let me know your thoughts. Until then, stay off the porn.
If you want more articles that talk about the African immigrant experience, make sure you subscribe to the blog for either free email updates or to receive regular RSS updates ( Click on this link to learn just what the heck RSS is )
Be blessed and bless others,
Mwangi
For the women reading this, your situation is a lot different from this from what I have observed and studied. This will definitely be a topic of future posts. If you have any thoughts, any ideas, any thing, you think you missed, either leave a comment below or contact me and let me know.
Update: Many months later I did write the article: Jungle Fever 2: The Relationship Between White Men and African Women
Tags: Interracial relationships, Jungle fever, mandingo fantasy, white women black men
THANK YOU nkosi for addressing & challenging Angela’s comments on this forum, particularly from the perspective of a black man. Thanks you again. Take care. Jo.
I too would like to respond to Angela Holt’s ignorance. Angela obviously is not a Christian. I come to this conclusion because EVERY Christian knows that the Bible teaches us that God created us in his image and we are ALL decendants of Adam and Eve…… 1 set of original parents = 1 race. Has that race changed over time – I would say yes……
My question to Angela would be – which is the “pure” race and which are the “unpure” races?
Also, I will make an educated guess that Angela is single and bitter because of it. My African-American husband will tell you that there were many things that attracted him to me – my mind was just one of the attractions. We have very similar opinions and many things in common – not to mention that after almost 18 years together, we are still VERY much attracted physically to one another.
Angela, white women such as myself have not stolen the successful black men from black women……. My husband loves black women – before me he was married to a black woman and although I am statingh the obvious, his mother whom he adored was a black woman. But, I can assure you that even if he were not with a “white woman,” he would not be with a woman such as yourself. He reads people very well and could probably size you up in a second. He is not attracted to bigoted close minded individuals and you, Angela are both. Maybe if you open your mind and close your mouth, you can find a good man and shed that bitterness that you are harboring for women that have wonderful men in their lives.
If you look at it from a scientific & historic perspective, white people are also ‘displaced’ Africans… seventy thousand years or so ago (according to DNA research) a group of Africans left the continent to gradually spread out all over the world, slowly adapting to suit their environment (unless you don’t believe the theory of evolution).
Nkosi – you make a very valid point:
http://www.africanloft.com/africa-is-the-cradle-of-mankind-and-has-the-most-genetic-diversity-study-reveals/
Dear Angela: I hope you can move on and appreciate & value yourself and other people as members of the genetically very diverse but ONE race of mankind?
Peace-o
hi all – thank you so much to the recent posters on the board who have responded to angela’s comments. it has restored not only my faith in forums such as this but also in human nature as a whole & intercultural understanding.
i would echo Peace-o by saying have a look at dr. alice roberts’ bbc program about the origins of mankind (‘the incredible human jounrey’)…all of us originally came from africa as the scientific evidence shows & as people spread out around the world their skin colour/appearance adapted to the environment over time.
thank you too, to hijack323 for giving us a positive story about what sounds like a beautiful & successful intercultural relationship. i also am a white woman in love with & in a secure relationship with a wonderful man from kenya – my partner loves black women just as much & the mother of his child is black & they have a very respectful relationship. we fell in love with each other -our values, beliefs & attitudes & sense of being in the world & even sense of humour is very similar – our different skin colour is irrelevant to us although it seems not to everyone!
finally i would also like to say that while i understand the points made by & about recently arrived african men in australia, this is very far from my own experiences. while i live in the uk now, i was born & lived in australia for more than 40 years. i taught english to adult african men for many, many years & yes some did have white partners (usually attractive & very sweet ones) but many had partners from their own community as well. i spent a lot of time with these guys & we discussed many aspects of their lives – never once did they raise the issue of a feeling they had no choice but to be with an ‘ugly, fat white woman’ – what a horrible stereotype anyway! all these guys studied, many had jobs & some were planning to go on to uni. they certainly didn’t ‘need’ a white woman for money as they all had money & they didn’t need her for a passport or visa coz they had this as well – in fact most were permanent residents. so i’m really puzzled as why african men in australia would ever need to behave in the demeaning way which is often described on this forum.
Wow i donno what to say …. so you wanna keep that white girl…Christina Aquilera …that Paris Hilton( U.S.D.A) who likes black men ? But oops she doesnt look like them? o_O What a Dilemma, but i think she might tell Nelly “ride with me ” So now you decided rather to get That Halle Berry …who do you think u are …Hurricane Chris? hehe …
My bf of 8 months is african:). We met in da club(50cent) but have never been back to da club since then.. And we say ” i love you” to each other…aww:) . I really do love him so much. Its my dream to marry him. Im very happy to have him for my bf. He is my honey…and im planning on loving him long time (mariah carey) 🙂
Anyways maybe a gal with not such high self esteem has a few good sides to it also.
I feel very grateful to have my bf in my life and i try to make him happy and be a good gf to him.
If i had a really high self esteem maybe i would have been the kinda girl who would not appreciate who she has and always be on the look out for someone better? o_O hmm where are some NFL players ?! lol just joking …(Mr NFL probably has some single ladies like Kim Kardashian on his mind, to put a ring on it 🙂 He surely is surely loaded ..the money ..the wheels( singing like T.I 24’s) …the crib.. the swag..looking fly… to get who he wants… singing to the other brothers “this is why im hot…im hot coz im fly you aint coz your not ! duh!(mims)
And wow !!! about the elephant trunks that can choke a ghorilla o_O Ghorrila Zoe ?” I got it ! I got it ! You want it ? It got it ! I want it … So bad …just wanna take a shot at it ” .. Hmmm sounds like his got it ! 🙂
Having one night stands with obese people for food o_O!!! …wow omg thats kinda funny sorry lol I dont think in any case any relationship can develope after a one night stand…with or without food! ? i think most guys are gonna feel bad about the girl if she gives it up too easily…
And we girls also appreciate a gentleman..:) Oh behave lol dont become all dr evil in da club even its your birthday 50 cent!
I would love to someday go to Honolulu with my man….but it would not be for getting that maui wowi…love that song tho 🙂
I’m just tired of white women (hijack323) hiding behind the “I don’t date him because he’s black” I like his skin, he makes me feel safe, they know how to treat a woman… blah, blah and blah. I’m a black man ( In the USA) and I have dated all types of women- in the end it all boils down to the size of my dong and how good I make them feel. When I was a teenager and even into my thirties it was great. But I started seeing a patern and things started to make sense. It was never me they wanted. It was my African-Salami. I realized I was just a tool to these women. Something used for a single purpose, like a slave. I started looking at myself as a slave with very little value. Well, I got tired of feeling like a slave and started to embrace my people and learned to love myself- that’s right! I think in a way I didn’t like myself. Now that I understand things a bit better, things are looking good. What sucks is knowing that here in the USA we are still slaves to whites- only now almost exclusively to white women.
I was once going at it with a white girl and as she was cumming, she said ” Give it to me you f’n nig@*r. She tried to play it off by saying; you guys say it to each other all the time. White girls get so caught-up in the sex they even forget we’re human sometimes. If something happened to my dong, any white girl would leave way faster than a black woman. They can only connect on a sexual level- That is all. I’m tired of being a slave- being with white girls now feel shallow to me- the truth is when I’d get a white girl hooked, I become the master. I could do what ever the hell I wanted with them- and I’m tired of that too.
I heard several times women say, ‘Once you go black you never go back’. Well, just think about that for a minute- are all us black males clones for white women to say, ‘I don’t care as long as he’s black he will do the trick’. If he’s good looking and he has money I hit the jackpot!!!
CJones – I agree with you on one thing you wrote in your ignorant ramblings….. you ARE a complete “Tool.” LOL
Maybe after the women are around you for a few minutes, they realize what a tool you actually are and can’t get away from you fast enough. You obviously don’t know what the hell you are talking about. #1 – it is a fairy tale that black men are better endowed than white men…… #2 – I went black the first time when I was in the 9th grade (1973-1974). I went back to dating (or was married to) white men exclusively for the next 14 years – when I met my current husband who is black. So I went “back” as you put it.
You say you have a big “African Salami,” too bad you don’t have a pair of balls to go with it because if you did, women would not treat you in the manner for which you say they do.
In the future, maybe if you quit being such a victem, you might actually meet a nice girl (or boy).
When you have an open mind and open heart, you open yourself up to meeting wonderful people from races. I would say to you like I would a woman that “allowed” men to use her, you are the only one you have control over so if someone is using you for sex and you don’t like it, only you can do something about it. You are making judgements and stereotyping….. and
hmmm…well after first reading your post CJones i felt annoyance but then i felt sorry for you coz you are sooooo dating the wrong kind of women.
mind you, i think you have just received a taste of what women of all backgrounds have had to put up for generations – i.e. being dated & bedded by men (also from all backgrounds) just for physical reasons – big breasts, hot body etc…and it’s demeaning.
it’s all about the person and if people can’t see beyond the physical then you need to steer clear of them unless you want to feel like a commodity. the physical in everyone fades/changes over time anyway so if you ever want a serious, meaningful, long term relationship then stay away from those that just see life and experience through a physical/material lens.
like hijack323, i have dated (& been married to) white men and dated black men. my current partner is black and i’m not with him for his ‘African-salami’ -i love him for HIM – his personality, his values and attitudes. of course, there is physical attraction between us…most relationships need this too!…but if that’s all there is then it won’t last.
my advice is look for someone who loves you for who you are as a person – this may be a white woman or a black woman, who knows – there are lots of great people out there & this isn’t defined by the colour of their skin
I’m a black guy and I have jungle fever really bad. What should I do?
@fever: Loooollllll, I don’t even know what to say to that one…….
Fever: you need a lil bit of Stephanie Mills’ medahcaaaaaaan, or else G. Estefan’s Doctor Beat, or something, man.
Loved it!! LOL I am a white woman from france. I am slim, but I don’t know how beautiful I am which surely means I’m not Jessica Alba, yeah right! a dog!
No ain’t no dog at all. One thing I know is that I am intelligent and a talented musician. Man looks like a personal ad but my point is a month ago I met this guy from Mali, very nice, shy and all cute who makes a living out of selling hash. I dated him for a month, we had sex the second week, he told me he loved me the following day. The first night we slept toghether i could tell he was used to prostitutes mainly and as he confirmed later only.Well as things started to go to fast I freked out and backed off.I told him not to call me anymore and he hasn’t ever since.
time for me to show the claw, i do have a flaw: He was 25 and I am 44 😉
Cheers from Paris
KATHERINE, GET OVER YOURSELF BECAUSE ALOT OF WHAT HE WROTE IS TRUE. NO, YOU ARE NOT THAT SPECIAL.
BESIDES I WOULD RATHER HAVE A WHITE MAN.
CJ JONES…FINALLY A BM WHO GETS IT. YES, IT IS ALL ABOUT YOUR PACKAGE AND WHITE WOMEN MAKING WHITE MEN JEALOUS. THE WHITE MEN I HAVE SPOKEN TO ABOUT WW/BM ARE NOT JEALOUS. WHITE WOMEN ARE SIMPLY WASTING THEIR ENERGY.
I KNOW BW WOMEN WHOSE MEN HAVE LARGE PACKAGES AND THEY WISH SOMETIMES THAT THEY WERE NOT AS LARGE. A LARGE PENIS CAN BE PAINFUL FOR THE WOMAN. HOWEVER, MOST WHITE WOMEN HAVE WIDE AND HANGING HOLES. AND WHY WOULD A MAN WANT A WOMEN WHO IS HANGING(GET THAT OPERATION). WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS SHE PUTTING IN IT? I WOULD BE SCARE IF I WERE A MAN.
Wow! I can’t believe the comments and how long this has been going. It’s like an endless conversation, and after a minute, I got a little tired of reading them. I was actually on the web looking for some site that would indicate where the poetry clubs, hip hop spots, jazz joints, or something familiar to me are. Aaand…. there obviously aren’t any. Unless someone has got the inside track.
I’m an African American woman from the US and have been in Australia for 2 months, feeling a little homesick. After stumbling across this blog, I found it interesting and kinda funny. Coming from America, majority of us laugh at just about anything and anyone anyway; even ourselves.
I can understand the angry comments and the understanding ones. We are all entitled to our own opinions. After reading this blog, I’m curious as to what kind of experiences I will go through; although right now they have been minimal.
What is fat anyway? Are we talking model industry standards, or what? I wouldn’t consider myself skinny or fat. If anything, we all come in different shapes, sizes and colors, and if a group of people are not thrilled about a woman who is a size 6 and up (that’s plus size in US model world), then some other group will.
I will say this; I am definitely not opposed to dating outside of a race; regardless of what the reason is. I have dated the whole rainbow, and at first was opposed to white women dating black men; especially if it was my brother. Now it doesn’t really matter. If no one had relations outside of their race, I wouldn’t be alive, and many others that we call friends, family (my President), wouldn’t be as well. Many people cannot trace back far enough, but I have traced back to a good 4 generations (due to a undergrad project) and found out there are white people in my family. So close that I know their blood is in me along with the obvious native american signs.
If a black man is dating a white woman for superficial reasons, good riddance, I didn’t want him anyway, but if he’s dating a white woman b/c he is truly happy, then good for him. Same thing goes for a black woman dating outside of her race. I have experienced some flack from black men and white people when I dated a white man.
Does it really matter who we date and for what reason? Why is it anyone else’s business?
Thanks for the post Mwangi!
Hello, Queenboheme,
Where in Australia are you? In Melbourne, there are heaps of hip-hop events. There’s the annual MC Competition at Revolver, and next weekend, there will be a free hip-hop event in the city:
Our Backyard 2009
the Arts Centre and The Push present
Our Backyard 2009
Melbourne established and emerging MCs, DJs, breakers, krumpers, poppers and dance crews come together the ultimate free non stop hip-hop extravaganza and battle!
Sunday 20 September, 2009
@ the Arts Centre, Hamer Hall, St Kilda Rd, Melbourne
11.30am – 4.00pm
FREE ENTRY
Hosted by:
Yung Philly & Timomatic (Top 8 finalist from So You Think You Can Dance)
Featuring:
Special
DJ Peril
DJ Perplex
Dig Deep vs City Beatz
All-Star Hip Hop Jam with Julez, Justice (Justice & Kaos), Little G, Mantra and 1/6 (Illzilla), MC Que (Illevel), Momo (Diafrix), Urban Monk (Polo CLub)
Live funk band – Deep Street Soul
Dance Showcases by:
DVP
Melbourne House Dancers
Melbourne Lockers
Urban Force
Access for All Abilities Ghet-Go Crew
Plus:
4 on 4 Breakin’ Battles
MC Battles
Stencil Workshops
Sneaker Freaker Workshop & Display
Umalicious Food & Beats Cafe
Market Stalls & more
Registrations for Breakin’ & MC Battles NOW OPEN!
Breakin’ & MC Battle Qualifiying Rounds: 11.30am – 1.00pm
Breakin’ & MC Battle Semis & Finals: 1.00pm – 4.00pm
This is an all ages, drug, alcohol & smoke-free event!
For More Information Contact: The Push on (03) 9380 1277 push_it@thepush.com.au
http://www.thepush.com.au
What do you think about Australian men? I get the feeling that they just don’t like any women at all! Which is probably why we had a huge feminist movement in the ’70s, and Germaine Greer has been living in the UK ever since! Women just don’t seem to be welcome in Australian society – it’s like we’re nuisances, intruding on their little ‘boys clubs’ at the football and the pub. I suppose that’s why most of us girls here are real ‘girl’s girls.’ We need to support one another, ’cause no-one else will!
Hey Eve!
Thanks for the info! Unfortunately, I’m in Brisbane. I really wanted to go to Melbourne, but my lack of thorough search for universities, led me to the one that’s having issues. Fortunately, my previous Masters has cut down my time here, so I may be able to move out there next year; that is, if I can find a job; otherwise back to the States I go.
Even if don’t get to live out there, I’ll make sure to visit and see what’s up with the info. you passed along.
I have yet to have any convesations with Australian men. I have only met one and he’s gay, but honestly being here, has made me appreiciate American men even more, especially Blacks. It does seem like women are somewhat of an intrusion on what they have going on. I haven’t really seen any tomboys walking around. What’s up with that? Traditional roles does seem to be pretty major here, and that’s something I can’t get used to.
Thanks again!
@Queenboheem: I have just moved to Brisbane from Melbourne so if you discover any good events, please be sure to leave a comment here and lemme know.
Cheers
Hey, Queenboheme,
You’re welcome! Yeah, Melbourne has a pretty big hip-hop scene. I’ve never been to Brisbane, but my best friend wants to take me to Hamilton Island! Haha… Yeah, it’s like that here – girlfriends going on ‘honeymoon destinations’ together!
Yeah, it’s a real masculine society we have over here, unfortunately. Maybe that’s why we always look forward to foreign men visiting. But if they stay here for a few years, they end up acting like Australian men, going to their ‘male-only’ barbeques, pubs and football games, and excluding girls…
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay in Australia, and good luck with your studies! 🙂
Hey Eve,
Yeah girl outings are common. It’s good to get away with the ladies and gossip and chill. If you ever make it to the US, you must go to South Beach in Miami, New York City (of course), and if you’re looking for some down time; the Mountains in Asheville, North Carolina. I guess I can appreciate the mingling with the opposite sex; the Superbowl parties, game nights, and chillaxing at the hip hop and jazz joints.
I think it takes a particular female to break down the barriers. Just join in whatever the men partake in. They’re not going to do anything; especially if you’re up on whatever they’re interested in. It’ll probably turn them on.
This makes me want to hurry and get back home now =)
Naw, I can appreicate the beauty of Australia!
Thanks!
Hey Mwangi!
I’m probably the last person you want to ask. I mainly keep to myself; calling home as often as I can. Why did you move anyway? You were probably in the cultural capital of Australia. I can’t wait to go to Melbourne.
It seems most people here go to Fortitude Valley or the “Valley” as it has been dubbed. But I’m not into the clubbing scene. You should check it out if you are. There is one guy I met on Facebook, who advertises the few events that come here. DJ Oskido is coming here on the 26th to Rockafellas Nite Club, 9 PM. That’s the one recent event I’ve seen advertised by him so far, since I added him. Do you have Facebook?
Know your market. Australia is one of the most racist countries on the planet. Plus, they have a lot of well hung, dark-skinned Aboriginals to compete with. I hear black men do exceedingly well with hot chicks in Germany. There, you are truly exotic.
I’m a white guy living in China, and the girls there are literally waiting in the airport for guys like me.
This is a great piece of work. You’re an excellent writer & you’re funny too. As for the content (African/African-American men)…I don’t really have an opinion on this, except that in any race you’ll find these kind of “fantasies” between the men & the women. Guys from “South of the Border”, many that I have met, think American women are EASY & that when they get to the U.S., they’ll have so much “pucha” dropping into their lap. Your story sounds a lot like theirs…the type of women & all. Of course, that DOESN’T apply to ALL LATIN MEN, just quite a few that I’ve met. I really enjoyed reading your blog. Thanx, you made me laugh.
There was a comment that caught my attention. I won’t say any names because I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion (not that they’re all legitimate or factual…they seem more “emotional”) & no matter how much you criticize their point of view, it most likely won’t change it. In fact, it may make them take a firmer stand behind their belief.
The idea of staying with your “own kind” is a personal preference, just as being w/someone from another race. This isn’t the animal kingdom where monkeys stick to monkeys, giraffes w/giraffes, wild cats w/wild cats. We’re talking about HUMAN BEINGS all lumped together on the same planet. Mixing is inevitably going to happen…it has & it always will. Unfortunately, IR relationships still get shunned, and that will continue also.
My father is German-American, and growing up in a White Supremicist environment, which he bought into, still didn’t kill his attraction to Hispanic women. He’s been married & divorced twice to 2 different Mexican women. Bringing to those relationships his idea of superiority over any non-White race pretty much destroyed those marriages. My Mexican mother, is attracted ONLY to “White” men. She was brought up in a large family of 9 brothers and sisters, whose parents immigrated from Mexico. Six out of the nine brothers & sisters stuck with their “own kind”, and every one of those six have been married more than once. REGARDLESS of what your race or what your preference is, if you pick a jerk (for lack of a better word) or you yourself have nothing positive to give to the relationship, IT’S NOT GONNA WORK, even if you choose to stay together and suffer. If 2 people can legitimately find true love, then let them. Happiness is everyone’s right & God is a loving God who wants us to be happy. If you, personally, want to stick w/your own kind, go for it, but don’t kid yourself…that won’t promise happiness. IR relationships won’t assure happiness either. It’s the mentality of the people involved. This should be basic “Relationship 101” info.
I’m happy and proud of my different ethnic families. I feel like I’ve been given something extra because of that. I love people for people. I have dated different races & I have been married twice to Mexican men. These relationships didn’t work. Why? I truly doubt it was because of race (I can only speak for myself on that)…it was the type of man I was with and the type of woman I was at that time in my life. They were wrong for me & I was wrong for them.
That’s just MY learning experience. Again, if you want to be with “your own”, so be it. I wish you happiness.
Hi Myambi,
I did not get a chance to read all of your blog but just most of the first part. I know its a bit late for comments regarding african man in Australia. I myself observed such behaviour whilst leaving in Asia. How the woman acted towards African man, and I mean straight from Africa. Your 5 points is so true to the point. So what I am saying is that this attitude is not narrowed to just white woman but also woman in asia. Good reading, ca.t wait to read more of you. P.s. I have many african man friends who tell me the same things you mentioned.
sounds to me like just the ramblings of a small dick jealous white man…..lmao@him being mad that white women will do anything for black dick. every white woman puts a black dick inside her at least 3 times in her life, BELIEVE THAT BITCH! that includes your grandmother, you mother and your sister, and your daughter especially.
I loved your article it entertained me so much I had to comment. Im writing from Tucson, AZ, where the black population at last count was under 2 % of the total pop. So inevitably black men get recycled quite a bit here. I was told the same story by other Africanos, when I asked why do they f– the heavy, homely white ones over a beautiful latin woman? One said “credit cards” another one said “easy” “immigration papers” and so on. I thought it sad, but can understand the need to get what you need however that may be. Here in lies the problem, if you sell yourself then you must expect to be treated like merchandise, by the time you get your papers you are miserable because you will be reminded on a daily basis you were bought. Thus making you bitter for the next woman who may truly be in love with you and want to love you for the man you are and not for your penis size or trophy status. Latin women are often the last choice for African men because we are actually forbidden to have relations with black men and we don’t pursue you, but when we do fall in love with you it is surely a blessed union. Look for the quality of the woman you get with and not the quantity on her credit card and you may be surprised by the unconditional support you will recieve from your Aztec Queen.
As the old saying goes, Once you’ve gone black, you never go back” and us white guys have a saying as well.
Once you’ve gone black, we don’t want you back.
I can’t even think of one single decent white woman that dates blacks.
All the white women I’ve known that date blacks are as you described above, or hate or possibly were molested by their fathers and date black men as revenge. That last one tends to describe the few attractive white girls i’ve ever known that have the jungle fever.
And , of course, we can’t forget the mentally deranged and those inundated with politically correct liberal programming. Every pathetic black guy that has ever hit on my wife while she is waiting for the bus or at the store [when I’m not around], always , when told to get lost, retorts with “wassamatta, you racist?”
As if it’s beyond their scope of thought that a beautiful intelligent white woman with a good life wouldn’t be interested in a guy that resembles an ape more than a human, in appearance and intellect.
wow did i really read someone making a statement that amounted to, only black boys and white girls are mature in teen years to like sex?
and did i read that only fat white woman have full fridges? what about all the other fat people in the world?what about skinny people who cant gain weight and eat all the time?
and that white woman will do anything for quoting now “black dick”I was wondering **does that include gay woman as well?They just flip over when you drop you pants?
and really whats your degree in automotive repair?
smiling now>>nice day to you
LMAO>>
oh hey and while you are working on cars,check this article for the words low self esteem
http://www.forbes.com/feeds/hscout/2009/02/22/hscout624365.html
@rj: Thank you for opening my eyes man. Before I lived in a dark, dark haze but thanks to you, good, kind, sir…..I know better. Bless you in 2010 Mr “mypolishsausage”, bless you. And thanks for stopping by tDA 🙂
I have a friend that is pregnant with an african man, they were together for just over 3 months when she got pregnant. He left for 6 weeks during her pregnancy to visit his family back in Africa, she is now 9 months pregnant and a friend of his came here to stay with them(she is not happy at all about the situation) She told her boyfriend that she wants the freind to leave, I am worried for her I don not trust either one of them. The friend has NO respect for my friend and when she tries to talk to her boyfriend about the situation he tells her that she is over reacting. Do I nedd to be concerned for her? She is being lied to everday about something new, and now we have learned that this man is here with NO money! They can barely take care of themselves never mind this man and now the baby!
Shanna, the first thing your friend ought to do is get an AIDS test, then an abortion, then an appointment with a psychiatrist.
Well bro, i understand where u’re headin to, but i guess you forgot the reverse of your case, i mean i’ve got friends who always goes for the thick ones… Black, white or whatever skin colour they’ve got, it just gotta be thick or call it overweight or fat i go with thick…
They’ve gone to the extend of tellin my friends(female)that every black dude love ’em thick, so it aint just them thick girls tryna get to a black man but also the message u bring accross e.g when u’re in da club, or mingle with ppl like in college.
If u play your cards right u’re not gonna be forced to go home with the lest expected but with desired.
I’ll advice u to bigg up n be the man next time u’re in da club. U got a prestig as a man, nomatter what ya skin colour says and them good lookin or modeltype of girls(i would say every woman) wanna see that in u!!!
In a notshell some of this thick females comes to us cuz they believe we’re easy to have and bros like u or ya friend who’s made it a must, to go home wit somethin to hit on are proves to their believes.
Dont get scared i’m also an African immigrant in the middle of the western world and yes i’m in love wit a beautiful and intelligent young lady. Anybody can get to where i am just be yourself and let love flow its easy right???
Keep ya Head up
God bless!
I found your article by mistake via google, and I must say, I thoroughly enjoyed reading your content. What caught my eye was the “Carnivore” sign as I remember enjoying many nights there one summer interning for IMC in Nairobi. In regards to your observations and conclusion, I, too, have made very similar conclusions over the years. Interestingly enough, i find the exact opposite is true in regards to Asian men. Being asian myself, I was amazed at how much female attention I have gotten from African women over the years.
Wow….. what a collection ! and a damn good read…thx Mwangi. I am madly in love with a Zambian girl…… yes I have realised eventually (after being married n divorced to 2 blue eyed girls) that I am more attracted to dark eyed girls and find dark skin more attractive…. most white girls just don’t do it for me, even if I can see they are attractive and admire their beauty. Hoping to work out how we can be together here in Perth.
Whatever….as long as you treat each other with respect, just follow your heart and not any bad attitudes or expectations…. good people are good people. If you find the right person for you….. move the earth to be with her/him.
@Ben: Noooo waayyy, for real? I have always looked for that pairing but it’s quite rare to find ( especially native Asian with native African, Westernized Asians and Africans, might be more common ).
In what country do you get this attention?
Mwangi, this is a stupid article. It is insulting to women and African people. It subscribes to the stereotype which makes it impossible for black people to gain respect in an increasingly diverse world. And, it is very poorly written. Next time your write, pause and read it again before posting or better still don’t offer you unsolicited racialized poorly informed advice about interracial relationships. These are ideas the world can surely do without.
This article made me sad, because it’s so true! Most women in the West suffer from low self-esteem, due to advertisements, constantly bombarding us with images of the ‘perfect woman.’
To say that White women and Black men must have problems (i.e. overweight, low self esteem) only shows how you dislike these people together. If you must know, there are plenty of quality interracial couples together in which the man and woman could pick and choose anyone they want. So, don’t try to make readers believe that the only way they are together is because something is wrong. You are only showing your jealously and hatred for interracial dating. In other words, get a life.
Just holding my hand up to represent the white women who are not overweight, suffer from low self esteem, drug addiction, over exposure to interracial porn or indeed unattractive…. and happen to be in a relationship with a good looking, successful black man… 🙂
But I can, kind of see where you are coming from.. some women can be like that.. but certainly not all 🙂
Shanna, your friend is an idiot. Shes deserves what she gets. Grow up, the world is a dangerous place, people need to be more careful. People need to be responsible for their actions. You westerners are so naive, childish and easily fooled. Show got what she deserved.
The thing you have to remember about Australia is that it’s unique in the way it was founded – by an underclass from England (convicts) who were thrown out by the upper-class from England (lords). Therefore, the founders of the country come from very humble origins, and were basically dumped here to fend for themselves. Most convicts were male. Then, the English decided to send out a ship to Australia, called Lady Juliana in 1790, with nothing but female convicts. The men in Australia really resented the presence of women in their predominantly ‘blokes world,’ and it’s been the same way ever since!
So, when foreign men come and visit, they’re usually very popular with women, because women are so used to being ignored/ridiculed/bullied here. You said that initially, women were ‘swooning’ over your accent. And that sounds about right! But women are so accustomed to feeling unwelcome, that I think foreign men need to make a bit of an effort, and show that you’re actually interested in them. Because otherwise, women here will just assume that you act like typical Australian men! Like The Supremes song goes, “Love don’t come easy/It’s a game of give and take.”
hi everybody. its been a while since i been on here. i never thought this thread would continue past the time i left it..so i guess i’ll rejoin.
@Eve yours is probably the best post on understanding the psyche of an Australian woman that i have ever read. i studied in Melbourne for 3 years and couldn’t quite understand what the ‘aloofness’ (for lack of a better word) of the Australian woman was quite about. i will testify that Australia is the most ‘blokey’ country i have ever come across.
someone here says this post is offensive to african men? how so? i mean the stereotype of the fat ugly white woman/ black man is not one which we african men are proud of (its quite disturbing actually!), but Mwangi was merely ‘keeping it real’..with regards to observations in Melbourne…and we as african men have to respect that
Hysterical!!!
I’m African and moved to the US at the age of 9 and i just recently turned 18. I believe that the poster of this article has major self esteem issues seeing how he has put all this effort to ridicule his own race by displaying this inferior mentality. Are you aware that most of your so called “positive” comments for your article are from racist white men who are only giving you props for acknowledging their outlook on interracial relationships? I for one do not give a fuck what white people or any other racial groups think of me because my mom raised me to be strong and proud of my culture and my race because that is who i am. I don’t blame the white man for any of my problems because i know i have the power and ability to change any circumstance that i dislike. When ppl ask me why i don’t live in Africa if I’m so proud of my country i ask them what white people are doing in south Africa. I think we all know what westerners have been doing for the past few centuries in order to gain the upper hand economically. The weak and unaware sit back hopelessly as they’re being fed countless propaganda until their brain is completely washed. I always feel disappointed when i look at my people and see then placed at the bottom of EVERYTHING and very few are doing anything to change what’s happening. The think i don’t understand is why most of us fail to see the importance of education. They got us on baketball courts and dance floors for their entertainment and now we got a white man suited in black skin to satisfy us. I love all my brothers and sisters no matter if they’re African or black American but there are countless African American individuals who want to have nothing to do with Africa. No matter how many centuries you’ve spent in the US, you will always be known as a person of African descent hence this label “African-American.” I am not claiming you are not happy with yourself but please speak for yourself when you write articles. As for white women….there’s nothing about them that makes them more desirable than women of other races. I don’t know about you but many white women who are not overweight, ugly, drug addicts…etc.. Have been highly attracted to me so i don’t really find your article to be factual
Thank you, Nkosi! I read your post about ethnic tensions in Africa, too, and it was very insightful. I heard a radio program on the BBC World Service the other day about a group of women returning to Rwanda, 15 years after the massacre of the Tutsi people. It seems many returning survivors have forgiven the perpetrators of the massacres, and people on both sides of the conflict are now living peacefully again. I think that is an incredible act of forgiveness, and it reminded me of Nelson Mandela when he was released from jail.
Yes, I’m afraid Australia is one big ‘bloke’s world.’ You’ll have to forgive those of us who indulge in little romantic fantasies about foreign men! Haha…My friend and I went to see the romantic movie ‘Dear John’ a few weeks ago, and the majority of the audience were girls, who were sobbing during much of the film. They were probably thinking, “Why can’t Australian men care about us like that American man in the movie?” 🙂
I am a good looking young man with high sense of humor, i did like good and strong friendship and dislike lies and games, i am really looking for strong and endless friendship. i am single with no kids and searching for my real date despite color difference. what i believe in is humanity, i feel that all human beings are one the difference is colored. I hope to meet someone of the same thoughts so that we can make a good life after all.
I am from Africa, the Gambia and i am not here for money but rather im here for my soul mate. i pray to God to bring me a good and caring woman who will like me for who i am and not what i am. this world is all about challenges, you may think that something is good for you whiles its the worst for you, and think that something is worst for you whiles it is the best for you, but all you need to do is to give it try and prayer let the good God make it your success in it.
I am a Muslim and i believed the religion, i love my country, my race because that is what God gave me. I wish to meet a good woman of my dream. distance communication is hard to trust because of some bad elements out there, but when you think of the other side it, then you will come to know that there are still some good and humble people within us, but you cant judge who is who.
I prayer for every member in this site a success in their endeavors and their dreams come true with their choice of life. here are my contact details for anyone who wish to try chance with me lams500@yahoo.com
I’m a black westernized male..I have been with plenty of white females…Autsralian,american and european…I have never experienced these 5 classes of WW you speak of dude.
Honestly I do not know what you’re talking about.Every chic i’ve been hasnt had sef esteem problems or been overweight etc etc..I’ve been with professonal woman chief.I just think you dont have any game dude…lol..seriously.Stop digging thru the trash can kunte kinte..
@mike brown: This article is nearing on 3 years old and one of the major distinctions that has become glaringly apparent to me over this time is that this is much more a culturally specific article than a race specific article. By and large for westernized Africans who have either grown up abroad or been socialized abroad, this article is totally irrelevant. This article is specifically for Africans who were raised up in Africa and are either fresh off the boat or landed in America or Australia – the other countries story also tends to differ from what I can gather – as fully developed adults.
There was a guy from the UK I had discussions with a while back, read through his ideas for more on this distinction.
@abe: Refer to the comments to mike brown. I have the blessed position of sitting in some cultural middle where I have been able to see how westernized Africans and home grown Africans act, live, love and dare I say it lust, and I can tell you the differences are quite dramatic.
As for the self-esteem issues, what I describe still happens to this day, perhaps it may be a reflection that the ideas of Biko, Frantz and the afrocentrist movement are just as relevant and needed today as they always have been.